1.
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.": So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
2.
Doctor: well Seto (kaiba), im sorry to say that through the trauma your brother has been through, he now thinks he is a pokemon
Seto: Mokuba speak to me! say something!: Mokuba: Bulbasaur!
Seto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
3.
how do you define syntax?: money people pay at church when they do something bad
4.
how does piccolo train gohan in dbz abridged?: DOOOOOODGE!
5.
i had a fear of hrdles once: i got over it
6.
Little Debbie was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Debbie, who created the universe?" When Debbie didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Debbie and the teacher said, "Very good" and Debbie fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Debbie, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Debbie didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Debbie and the teacher said, "Very good," and Debbie fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Debbie a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.: This time Debbie jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"
... the teacher fainted!
7.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?: "ROBIN GET IN THE BATMOBILE!"
8.
what did the man say when he walked into a bar?: ouch
9.
what do you call a robot that takes the longest route?: an R2 detour
10.
what do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?: pull the pin and throw it back
11.
what do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?: run away he/she has a grenade in his/her mouth!
12.
what do you do when you see a cat and a fish together?: figure out you are watching cartoon network
13.
what do you get when you cross a banker with an aquatic mammal?: a LOAN SHARK
14.
where do you find the place where fresh water fish keep their money?: a river bank
15.
why did the atom cross the road?: it was time to split
16.
your mama is so fat she stepped on the scale and said: "hey look its my PHONE NUMBER!
