MOTHER: Ohhhhh...I don't believe it! I just don't believe it! Help...Help, somebody!
Hurry, Mrs Trotter! Hurry!
MOTHER: Ohhh, can't we sit down and rest?
Rest? When an escaped rhinoceros is trying to eat us up?
MOTHER: But I am tired.
Don't be ridiculous! It's gaining on us! Hurry!
MOTHER: I don't think we're going to make it, Mr. Trotter!
No, neither do I! Well...goodbye Mrs. Trotter.
JAMES:...What's this light?
OLD-GREEN-GRASSHOPPER: Look who's here!
We've been waiting for you!
SPIDER: I'm hungry!
OLD-GREEN-GRASSHOPPER: I'm famished!
LADYBUG: So am I!
Everyone's famished! We need food!
SPIDER: Aren't you hungry?
OLD-GREEN-GRASSHOPPER: What's the matter with you? You look positively ill!
He looks as though he's going to faint any second.
LADYBUG: Oh, my goodness, the poor little thing! I do believe he thinks it's him that we are wanting to eat!
OLD-GREEN-GRASSHOPPER: We've been waiting for you all day long. We thought you were never going to show up. I'm glad you made it.
So cheer up my boy, cheer up! And meanwhile I wish you'd come over here and give me a hand with all these boots it takes me hours to get them all off by myself...Thank you so much. You are very kind.
JAMES:Well...uh...you have a lot of boots.
I have a lot of legs and a lot of feet! One hundred to be exact! I am a centipede you know.
EARTHWORM: ...And anyway, there is nothing marvelous, you know, centipede, about having a lot of feet.
Poor Earthworm. He's blind, you know. He can't see how splendid I look.
EARTHWORM: In my opinion, the really marvelous thing is to have no legs at all and be able to walk just the same.
You call that walking! You're a slitherer, that's all you are! You just slither along.
EARTHWORM: I glide.
You are a slimy beast.
EARTHWORM: ...And as for you...
I am a pest!
LADYBUG: My name is Ladybug.
JAMES: Pleased to meet...
I am the only pest in this room! Unless you count Old-Green-Grasshopper over there. But he is too old to be a pest anymore.
SPIDER: Well said, Old Green Grasshopper! In case you haven't guessed by now, my name is Spider.
James! Your name is James, isn't it?
Well, James, have you ever in your life seen such a marvelous colossal centipede as me?
JAMES: I certainly haven't! How on Earth did you get to be like that?
Very peculiar! Very very peculiar indeed. I was messing around in the garden under the old peach tree, when suddenly a funny little green thing came wriggling past my nose...
EARTHWORM: I actually swallowed one!
LADYBUG: So did I!
I swallowed three! But who's telling this story anyway? Don't interrupt!
OLD-GREEN-GRASSHOPPER: ...Break the stem, and off we go!
I've done it! We're off! The journey begins!
LADYBUG: ...Isn't that so, Centipede?
There is no telling what we shall see!
Song 1 Verse 1
WE MAY SEE A CREATURE WITH 49 HEADS
WHO LIVE IN THE DESOLATE SNOW,
AND WHENEVER HE CATCHES A COLD (WHICH HE DREADS)
HE HAS 49 NOSES TO BLOW.
Song 1 Verse 2
WE MAY SEE A DRAGON AND NOBODY KNOWS
THAT WE WON'T SEE A UNICORN THERE. WE MAY SEE A TERRIBLE MONSTER WITH TOES GROWING OUT OF THE TUFTS OF HIS HAIR.
Song 1 Verse 3
WE MAY SEE THE SWEET LITTLE BIDDY-BRIGHT HEN
SO PLAYFUL, SO KIND, AND WELL BRED;
AND SUCH BEAUTIFUL EGGS! YOU JUST BOIL THEM AND THEN
THEY EXPLODE AND THEY BLOW OFF YOUR HEAD.
Song 1 Verse 4
BUT WHO CARES! LET US GO FROM THIS HORRIBLE HILL!
LET US ROLL! LET US BOWL! LET US PLUNGE!
LET'S GO ROLLING AND BOWLING AND SPINNING UNTIL
WE'RE AWAY FROM OLD SPIKER AND SPONGE!
Start Scene 4
Let's have some light!
GRASSHOPPER: Yes! Light! give us some light, Glow-worm!
JAMES: Glow-worm? I never met a Glow-worm in here!
That's because he was up on the slimy ceiling the lazy beast. Although, now that you mention his name, he really doesn't look like much of a worm, does he?
GLOW-WORM: I am not a worm! I am not a he either! I am simply a lady firefly, without wings.
Big deal! Big deal! Come on, give us some light!
GLOW-WORM: I'm trying! I'm doing my best. Please be patient. There!
Some great journey!
GRASSHOPPER: You're still dizzy from the journey. Is everybody ready to go upstairs now and take a look around?
I refuse to show myself out of doors in my bare feet. I have to get my boots on again first.
SPIDER: While you're doing that, I'll weave a ladder to help us get out.
ALL: Here we are!
But this is impossible!
EARTHWORM: Awkward! We are finished! I may be blind, you know, but that much I can see quite clearly!
Off with my boots! I cannot swim with my boots on!
EARTHWORM: If this peach is not going to sink, and if we are not going to be drowned, then every one of us is going to starve to death instead!
By golly, he's right! For once, he's right!
EARTHWORM: You must be crazy! You can't eat the ship! It's the only thing that is keeping us up!
We shall starve if we don't!
JAMES:We couldn't eat the whole thing
GRASSHOPPER: Good heavens, he's right again!
LADYBIRD: An excellent idea!
What are you looking so worried about Earthworm? What's the problem?
EARTHWORM: The problem is...well, the problem is...well, the problem is that there is no problem!
All say something.
SPIDER: And flies were never as good as this!
What a flavor! It's terrific! There's nothing like it! There never has been! And I should know because I personally have tasted all the finest foods in the world!
Song 2 Verse 1
I'VE EATEN FRESH MUDBURGERS BY THE GREATEST COOKS THERE ARE,
AND SCRAMBLED DREGS AND STINKBUG'S EGGS AND HORNETS STEWED IN TAR,
AND PAILS OF SNAILS AND LIZARDS' TAILS AND BEETLES BY THE JAR.
A BEETLE IS IMPROVED BY JUST A SPLASH OF VINEGAR.
Song 2 Verse 2
I'M MAD FOR CRISPY WASP-STINGS ON A PIECE OF BUTTERED TOAST,
AND PICKLED SPINES OF PORCUPINES. AND THEN A GORGEOUS ROAST
OF DRAGON'S FLESH, WELL HUNG, NOT FRESH-IT COSTS A POUND AT MOST
(AND COMES TO YOU IN BARRELS IF YOU ORDER IT BY POST)
Song 2 Verse 3
FOR DINNER ON MY BIRTHDAY I SHALL TELL YOU WHAT I CHOSE:
HOT NOODLES MADE FROM POODLES ON A SLICE OF GARDEN HOSE
AND A RATHER SMELLY JELLY MADE OF ARMADILLO'S TOES.
(THE JELLY IS DELICIOUS, BUT YOU HAVE TO HOLD YOUR NOSE)
Song 2 Verse 4
NOW COMES, I DO DECLARE, THE BURDEN OF MY SPEECH:
THESE FOODS ARE RARE BEYOND COMPARE - SOME ARE RIGHT OUT OF REACH:
BUT THERE'S NO DOUBT I'D GO WITHOUT A MILLION PLATES OF EACH
FOR ONE SMALL MITE, ONE TINY BITE OF THIS FANTASTIC PEACH!
Look! Look at that funny thin black thing gliding through the water over there!
EARTHWORM: They're sharks! I'll bet you anything you like that they're sharks and they have come along to eat us up!
What absolute rot!
EARTHWORM: I am positive they are sharks! I just know they are sharks!
Ahem. Just assuming that they are sharks, there still can't be any danger if we stay up here...is there?
SPIDER: Think! Think, James, think!
Come on! Come on, James. There must be something we can do!
JAMES: There is something I believe we might try, I'm not saying it'll work...
EARTHWORM: Tell us! Tell us quickly!
We'll try anything you say! But hurry, hurry, hurry!
James/Spider string discussion
JAMES: And would it be strong?
SPIDER: The strongest there is!
But why? What are you going to do?
LADYBUG: Go on, James. How are you going to do it?
Skyhooks, I suppose.
EARTHWORM: ...I suppose you're going to fly up there yourself and catch it!
The boy's dotty!
EARTHWORM: Stop! Stop, stop, stop! I won't have it! I refuse! I - I - I -
My dear Earthworm, you're going to be eaten anyway, so what difference does it make whether it's sharks or seagulls?
EARTHWORM: ...I'm not going to be pecked to death by a bunch of seagulls!
You will be a martyr. I shall respect you for the rest of my life.
EARTHWORM: Oh, I shall be pecked to death!
Of course you won't!
EARTHWORM: Oh, I don't like this at all! Hurry, James!
Quiet down, Earthworm! You should be thankful that you are still alive!
LADYBUG: You were very brave, Earthworm.
LADYBUG: Why, you can almost see forever, from up here.
How can you see...?
JAMES: Oh, look, there's a ship below us!
GRASSHOPPER: It looks like a big one.
LADYBUG: It's got three funnels.
You can even see the people on the decks.
EARTHWORM: I wonder where we'll finish up this time.
Who cares? Seagulls always go back to land sooner or later.
JAMES: I think you're wonderful. It seems that almost everyone around here is loved! How nice this is!
Not me! I am a pest and I'm proud of it! Oh, I am such a shocking, dreadful pest!
JAMES: But isn't it unlucky to kill a spider?
Of course it's unlucky to kill a spider! Look what happened to Aunt Sponge after she'd done that! Bump! We all felt it, didn't we, as the Peach went over her?
SPIDER: It was very satisfactory. Will you sing us a song about it, please?
AUNT SPONGE WAS TERRIFICALLY FAT
AND TREMENDOUSLY FLABBY AT THAT.
HER TUMMY AND WAIST
WERE SOGGY AS PASTE
IT WAS WORSE ON THE PLACE WHERE SHE SAT!
Finish verse 1
SO SHE SAID I MUST MAKE MYSELF FLAT
I MUST MAKE MYSELF SLEEK AS A CAT
I SHALL DO WITHOUT DINNER
TO MAKE MYSELF THINNER
BUT ALONG CAME THE PEACH
OH THE BEAUTIFUL PEACH
AND MADE HER FAR THINNER THAN THAT!
End Rap 1
SPIDER That was very nice. Now sing one about Aunt Spiker.
AUNT SPIKER WAS THIN AS A WIRE
AND DRY AS A BONE ONLY DRIER
SHE WAS SO LONG AND THIN IF YOU CARRIED HER IN
YOU COULD USE HER FOR POKING THE FIRE!
I MUST DO SOMETHING QUICKLY SHE FROWNED.
I WANT FAT II WANT POUND UPON POUND!\
I MUST EAT LOTS AND LOTS OF MARSHMALLOWS AND CHOCS
TILL I START BULGING OUT ALL AROUND
AH YES SHE ANNOUNCED I HAVE SWORN
THAT I'LL ALTER MY FIGURE BY DAWN
CRIED THE PEACH WITH A SNIGGER, I'LL ALTER YOUR FIGURE
AND IRONED HER OUT ON THE LAWN!
JAMES: ...There's a huge pile of marbles.
They must be absolutely mad! There's nothing to be afraid of here!
JAMES: ...They're probably practicing for the winter.
That's ridiculous! This is summertime! You don't have hailstones in summertime! I don't believe it!
JAMES: For heaven's sake Centipede, don't make so much noise!
Those imbeciles couldn't hear anything! They're deaf as doorknobs! You watch! Idiots! Nincompoops! Half-wits! Blunderheads! What are you doing over there, dummies?
EARTHWORM: Now you've done it, you loathsome pest!
I'm not afraid of them!
Ow! Ow! Stop! Stop! Stop!
I'm a wreck! I am wounded all over!
NARRATORS: ...watching it as it comes up slowly over the rim of the horizon for a new day.
Look! There's land below!
JAMES: ...we have crossed the Atlantic Ocean overnight!
GRASSHOPPER: You don't mean it!
It's incredible! It's unbelievable!
EARTHWORM: It's not possible!
Oh, I've always dreamed of going to America! I had a friend once who -
JAMES: ...Centipede will bite through the strings for us one at a time.
My goodness, I've forgotten to polish my boots! Everyone must help me to polish my boots before we arrive!
EARTHWORM: We're falling!
Start Scene 8
Good-bye, everybody! Good-bye Ladybug! Good-bye Earthworm! I'm sorry I always made fun of you! Even though you are blind as a bat...
JAMES: I think we've landed on the needle of the Empire State Building!