The Bald Soprano Lines
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Created by:
kathrynisaac on April 22, 2012
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lines from bald soprano
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45 terms
Terms | Definitions |
|---|---|
 First line, sitting down | Excuse me, madam, but it seems to me, unless I'm mistaken, that I've met you somewhere before |
| MRS. MARTIN: I, too, sir. It seems to me that I 've met you somewhere before | MR. MARTIN: Was it, by any chance, at Manchester that I caught a glimpse of you, madam? |
| MRS. MARTIN: That is very possible. I am originally from the city of Manchester. But I do not have a good memory, sir. I cannot say whether it was there that I caught a glimpse of you or not! | MR. MARTIN: Good God, that's curious! I, too, am originally from the city of Manchester, madam! |
| MRS. MARTIN: That is curious! | MR. MARTIN: Isn't that curious! Only, I, madam, I left the city of Manchester about five weeks ago. |
| MRS. MARTIN: That is curious! What a bizarre coincidence! I, too, sir, I left the city of Manchester about five weeks ago. | MR. MARTIN: Madam, I took the 8:30 morning train which arrives in London at 4:45. |
| MRS. MARTIN: That is curious! How very bizarre! And what a coincidence! I took the same train, sir, I too. | MR. MARTIN: Good Lord, how curious! Perhaps then, madam, it was on the train that I saw you? |
| MRS. MARTIN: It is indeed possible that is, not unlikely. It is plausible and, after all, why not!--But I don't recall it, sir! | MR. MARTIN: I traveled second class, madam. There is no second class in England, but I always travel second class. |
| MRS. MARTIN: That is curious! How very bizarre! And what a coincidence! I, too, sir, I traveled second class. | MR. MARTIN: How curious that is! Perhaps we did meet in second class, my dear lady! |
| MRS. MARTIN: That is certainly possible, and it is not at all unlikely. But I do not remember very well, my dear sir! | MR. MARTIN: MY seat was in coach No. 8, compartment 6, my dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious that is! MY seat was also in coach No. 8, compartment 6, my dear sir! | MR. MARTIN: How curious that is and what a bizarre coincidence! Perhaps we met in compartment 6, my dear lady? |
| MRS. MARTIN: It is indeed possible, after all! But I do not recall it, my dear sir! | MR. MARTIN: To tell the truth, my dear lady, I do not remember it either, but it is possible that we caught a glimpse of each other there, and as I think of it, it seems to me even very likely. |
| MRS. MARTIN: Oh! truly, of course, truly, sir! | MR. MARTIN: How curious it is! I had seat No. 3, next to the window, my dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: Oh, good Lord, how curious and bizarre! I had seat No. 6, next to the window, across from you, my dear sir. | MR. MARTIN: Good God, how curious that is and what a coincidence! We were then seated facing each other, my dear lady! It is there that we must have seen each other! |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious it is! It is possible, but I do not recall it, sir! | MR. MARTIN: To tell the truth, my dear lady, I do not remember it either. However, it is very possible that we saw each other on that occasion. |
| MRS. MARTIN: It is true, but I am not at all sure of it, sir. | MR. MARTIN: Dear madam, were you not the lady who asked me to place her suitcase in the luggage rack and who thanked me and gave me permission to smoke? |
| MRS. MARTIN: But of course, that must have been I, sir. How curious it is, how curious it is, and what a coincidence! | MR. MARTIN: How curious it is, how bizarre, what a coincidence! And well, well, it was perhaps at that moment that we came to know each other, madam? |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious it is and what a coincidence! It is indeed possible, my dear sir! However, I do not believe that I recall it. | MR. MARTIN: Nor do I, madam. [A moment of silence. The clock strikes twice, then once.] Since coming to London, I have resided in Bromfield Street, my dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious that is, how bizarre! I, too, since coming to London, I have resided in Bromfield Street, my dear sir. | MR. MARTIN: How curious that is, well then, well then, perhaps we have seen each other in Bromfield Street, my dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious that is, how bizarre! It is indeed possible, after all! But I do not recall it, my dear sir. | MR. MARTIN: I reside at No. 19, my dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious that is. I also reside at No. 19, my dear sir. | MR. MARTIN: Well then, well then, well then, well then, perhaps we have seen each other in that house, dear lady? |
| MRS. MARTIN: It is indeed possible but I do not recall it, dear sir. | MR. MARTIN: My flat is on the fifth floor, No. 8, my dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious it is, good Lord, how bizarre! And what a coincidence! I too reside on the fifth floor, in flat No. 8, dear sir! | MR. MARTIN [musing]: How curious it is, how curious it is, how curious it is, and what a coincidence! You know, in my bedroom there is a bed, and it is covered with a green eiderdown. This room, with the bed and the green eiderdown, is at the end of the corridor between the w.c. and the bookcase, dear lady! |
| MRS. MARTIN: What a coincidence, good Lord, what a coincidence! My bedroom, too, has a bed with a green eiderdown and is at the end of the corridor, between the w.c., dear sir, and the bookcase! | MR. MARTIN: How bizarre, curious, strange! Then, madam, we live in the same room and we sleep in the same bed, dear lady. It is perhaps there that we have met! |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious it is and what a coincidence! It is indeed possible that we have met there, and perhaps even last night. But I do not recall it, dear sir! | MR. MARTIN: I have a little girl, my little daughter, she lives with me, dear lady. She is two years old, she's blonde, she has a white eye and a red eye, she is very pretty, her name is Alice, dear lady. |
| MRS. MARTIN: What a bizarre coincidence! I, too, have a little girl. She is two years old, has a white eye and a red eye, she is very pretty, and her name is Alice, too, dear sir! | MR. MARTIN [in the same drawling monotonous voice]: How curious it is and what a coincidence! And bizarre! Perhaps they are the same, dear lady! |
| MRS. MARTIN: How curious it is! It is indeed possible, dear sir. [A rather long moment of silence. The cock strikes 29 times.] | MR. MARTIN [after having reflected at length, gets up slowly and, unhurriedly, moves toward Mrs. Martin, who, surprised by his solemn air, has also gotten up very quietly. Mr. Martin, in the same flat, monotonous voice, slightly singsong]: Then, dear lady, I believe that there can be no doubt about it, we have seen each other before and you are my own wife... Elizabeth, I have found you again! |
| MARY: Elizabeth and Donald are now too happy to be able to hear me. I can therefore let you in on a secret. Elizabeth is not Elizabeth, Donald is not Donald. And here is the proof: the child that Donald spoke of is not Elizabeth's daughter, they are not the same person. Donald's daughter has one white eye and one red eye like Elizabeth's daughter. Whereas Donald's child has a white right eye and a red left eye, Elizabeth's child has a red right eye and a white left eye! Thus all of Donald's system of deduction collapses when it comes up against this last obstacle which destroys his whole theory. In spite of the extraordinary coincidences which seem to be definitive proofs, Donald and Elizabeth, not being the parents of the same child, are not Donald and Elizabeth. It is in vain that he thinks he is Donald, it is in vain that she thinks she is Elizabeth. He believes in vain that she is Elizabeth. She believes in vain that he is Donald--they are sadly deceived. But who is the true Donald? Who is the true Elizabeth? Who has any interest in prolonging this confusion? I don't know. Let's not try to know. Let's leave things as they are. [She takes several steps toward the door, then returns and says to the audience:] My real name is Sherlock Holmes. [She exits.] | MR. MARTIN: Darling, let's forget all that has not passed between us, and, now that we have found each other again, let's try not to lose each other any more, and live as before. |
| MRS. MARTIN: Hm, hm, hm. [Silence.] | MR. MARTIN: Hm, hm, hm, hm. [Silence.] |
| MRS. MARTIN: Oh, but definitely. [Silence.] | MR. MARTIN: We all have colds. [Silence.] |
| MRS. SMITH: There's no draft. [Silence.] | MR. MARTIN: Oh no, fortunately. [Silence.] |
| MR. SMITH: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. [Silence.] | MR. MARTIN: Don t you feel well? [Silence.] |
| MR. SMITH: The heart is ageless. [Silence.] | MR. MARTIN: That s true. [Silence.] |
| MR. SMITH: The truth lies somewhere between the two. [Silence.] | MR. MARTIN: That's true. [Silence.] |
| MRS. SMITH [to the Martins]: Since you travel so much, you must have many interesting things to tell us. | MR. MARTIN [to his wife]: My dear, tell us what you've seen today. |
| MRS. SMITH: You will offend us if you think that. | MR. MARTIN [to his wife]: You will offend them, my dear, if you think that... |
| MRS. MARTIN [graciously]: Oh well, today I witnessed something extraordinary. Something really incredible. | MR. MARTIN: Tell us quickly, my dear. |
| MRS. MARTIN: Well, I'm sure you'll say that I'm making it up--he was down on one knee and he was bent over. | MR. MARTIN, MR. SMITH, MRS. SMITH: Oh! |
| MRS. MARTIN: He was tying his shoe lace which had come undone. | MR. MARTIN, MR. SMITH, MRS. SMITH: Fantastic! |
| MR. SMITH: If someone else had told me this, I'd not believe it. | MR. MARTIN: Why not? One sees things even more extraordinary every day, when one walks around. For instance, today in the Underground I myself saw a man, quietly sitting on a seat, reading his newspaper. |
| MRS. SMITH: There must be somebody there. I'll go and see. [She goes to see, she opens the door and closes it, and comes back.] Nobody. [She sits down again.] | MR. MARTIN: I'm going to give you another example... |
| MRS. SMITH: There must be somebody there. I'll go and see. [She goes to see, opens the door, and comes back.] No one. [She sits down again.] | MR. MARTIN [who has forgotten where he was]: Uh... |
| MRS. MARTIN: You were saying that you were going to give us another example. | MR. MARTIN: Oh, yes... |
| MRS. MARTIN: Thats no reason. | MR. MARTIN: What? When one hears the doorbell ring, that means someone is at the door ringing to have the door opened. |
| MRS. MARTIN: Not always. You've just seen otherwise! | MR. MARTIN: In most cases, yes. |
| MRS. MARTIN: Your wife is right. | MR. MARTIN: Oh! You women! You always stand up for each other. |
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