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committed romantic relationships relationships between individuals who assume they will be primary and continuing parts of each others' lives components of romantic love passion, commitment, intimacy stages of development initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding stages of decay differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, terminating initiating the initial interaction or first contact with another person (consider stereotypes, the other's reputation, previous interactions, and determine whether the person is cleared for the encounter) experimenting a period of information, seeking, predicting anticipated outcomes of additional interactions, and reducing uncertainty about the other (marked by high degree of reciprocity in exchange of information, information exchanged is mostly cultural and sociological, a kind of initial testing period) intensifying period where the intimacy of the relationship, whether psychological, physical, or both, becomes greater (characterized by nonverbal sophistication, direct expressions of commitment, and idealizing the relationship) integrating two individuals and/or personalities fuse or combine into one entity, interdependence develops (adopt each others' mannerisms and speech patterns, social networks merge and begin to treat the pair as one entity, intimacy trophies are exchanged, similarities are overtly accentuated verbally and nonverbally, synchrony of routines occurs, "we" statements) bonding a public ritual announcing formally contracted commitments ("going steady", engagement, cohabitation, marriage, or with contracts, becoming roommates) differentiating literally becoming distinct (begin using singular or possessive pronouns instead of plural ones; fighting, arguing and conflict occur frequently) circumscribing process of constricting or limiting the relationship (limiting frequency, quantity, and quality of communication - more silences and less discussions; restricting depth and breadth of communication; limiting time spent together) stagnating to be motionless or inactive (verbal communication does not occur much; there is a sense it is unnecessary because we know how it will turn out; communication is most often unpleasant and nonverbal; communication patterns resemble strangers) avoiding distancing (3 kinds: avoidance, disengagement, and cognitive disassociation) terminating the end, at least temporarily, of a relationship (can happen anytime, can occur as a result of a single event or an accumulation) grave dressing making sense of the end of a relationship; revising perceptions of the relationship, self, and partner (getting over activities, internal v. internal attributions, public distribution of own version of breakup - public support) Lee's primary love styles eros, ludus, storge Lee's secondary love styles pragma, mania, agape eros a powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically ludus playful love; seen as a game storge a comfortable, even-keeled kind of love based on friendship and compatibility pragma pragmatic or practical love mania passionate, sometimes obsessive love that includes emotional extremes agape love without expectation of personal gain or return Knapp and Vangelisti creators of stages of development and decay Marston and Hecht "love ways" researchers 7 love ways collaborative, active, intuitive, committed, secure, expressive, traditional romantic love collaborative love partnership that involves mutual support, increases energy, intensifies emotion active love doing things together, increased strength and self-confidence intuitive love nonverbal behavior, feeling warm all over, nervous, losing appetite committed love based on commitment, spending time together, talking about future, strong feelings of connection secure love based on intimacy, communicated through self-disclosure, feelings of safety, warmth expressive love overt behavior, doing things for partner, saying "I love you" traditional romantic love involves togetherness and commitment, feel beautiful and healthy 1 million people people in a romantic long distance relationship annually 10% percent of job relocation resulting in long distance relationships 25-40% percent of college students in long distance relationships (around half of first-year students are in long distance relationships, as many of one-third of premarital relationships in university settings may be long distance) Westfield and Liddell derived long distance relationship maintenance strategies from participant workshops environmental spoiling denotes situations in which proximity breeds ill will relational culture a private world of rules, understandings, meanings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create for their relationship placemaking process of creating a comfortable personal environment that reflects the values, experiences, and tastes of the couple passion intensely positive feelings and fervent desire for another person commitment the intention to remain involved with a relationship intimacy feelings of closeness, connection, and tenderness (underlies passion and commitment)