Chapter 11: Intimate Relationships, Creating Dyadic Identites
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Created by:
happyflipican on November 25, 2011
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48 terms
Terms | Definitions |
|---|---|
 intimacy | unique bond created by two people through some combination of highly interdependent action, individualized rules, and personal disclosures, and viewed by both parties as relatively affectionate, intrinsically rewarding, and irreplaceable |
| physical proximity | increases the likelihood that two people will communicate more frequently with each other |
| shared episodes | one of the most common and often overlooked sources that lays the groundwork for possible intimacy |
| intimacy readiness | times, places, and dates can affect how we feel and create |
| romantic feelings | situational factor that influences movement toward intimacy |
| civility | activity which protects people from each other and yet allows them to enjoy each others company |
| filtering theory | when and how we use verbal and nonverbal cues of others to determine their attractiveness as a relational partner |
| physical beauty | most important basis for attraction initially |
| matching hypothesis | decision to interact and pursue a more personal relationship based on perception that we are relative equals in terms of physical attractiveness |
| similarity | like same food, politics, people |
| reciprocal liking | interest or observable liking for us first |
| complementary needs | degree to which one person's needs match the others may make them more or less attractive to each other |
| need for inclusion | how strongly we desire to be in the presence of other people |
| need for control | characteristic desire to control behavior of others or have others control our behavior |
| need for affection | degree to which an individual feels she must express affection or closeness to others or have others express affection for her |
| trusting behavior | any behavior that increases one person's vulnerability to another |
| trustworthy behavior | response to trusting behavior that protects vulnerability of the other |
| affinity-seeking strategies | behaviors like giving gifts; taking charge of situations; acting in a warm; empathetic manner; doing favors; |
| indirect suggestions | jokingly referring to relationship in more serious terms and flirting |
| separation tests | not seeing the other for brief or extended periods of time (to see if other makes contact or misses) |
| endurance tests | increase costs associated with relationship to see if the other is willing to remain |
| triangle tests | going out with others to test for jealousy and mentioning someone else you think the other might be interested in to see is or her reaction |
| relational symbols | concrete metacommunicative statements about abstract qualities of intimacy, caring solidarity which the parties equate with relationship |
| covenant talk | two people working out what they want, what they believe, what they hope for each other |
| expressive-protective dialectic | when two people learn to trust each other, they're usually more willing to disclose both positive and negative personal info |
| autonomy-togetherness dialectic | friends must be careful not to assume that the other will automatically participate in any given activity |
| novelty-predictability dialectic | relationship takes on a life of its own and partners become quite predictable to each other |
| gender role dialectic | tension between accepting traditional gender definitions and finding new ways of being masculine or feminine |
| assimilation | greater presumed agreement than actually exists |
| contrast | greater presumed disagreement |
| relational maintenance behaviors | mundane everyday routines we use to shape our relationships |
| validating couples | communicate frequently and have developed a pattern of listening carefully and reinforcing each others right to different opinions and emotions even when they disagree |
| volatile couples | argue frequently and spend very little time validating each others opinions during heat of argument |
| avoidant couples | build a strong relationship based on similarities they share while largely minimizing or compartmentalizing their differences |
| hostile/engaged couples | fight frequently, but their interactions are peppered with insults, sarcasm, and overall contempt for one another |
| hostile/detached couples | experience emotional distance in their interactions |
| criticism | leaves realm of specific, identifiable behaviors by attacking others personality in a broad, almost undefinable manner |
| contempt | intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner and as as immediate decay of admiration |
| defensiveness | any time we experience fear in response to a perceived threat or attack whether in the form of a partner's compliant, criticism, or expression of contempt |
| stonewalling | least one partner engaging in a habitual pattern of stony silence or emotional distance from immediate interaction and overall relationship |
| back-channeling | use of head nods, brief vocalizations (uh huh, ok, or yeah), or other gestures to indicate that you are listening and have not withdrawn emotionally |
| ideology of intimacy | intimacy, or psychological closeness, is the yardstick by which we should measure all relationships |
| interpersonal conflict | occurs whenever goals are blocked |
| gunnysacking | failing to confront problems as they crop up |
| kitchen-sinking | every possible argument everything but the kitchen sink is thrown in |
| stereotyping | labeling |
| fractionating | breaking it up into small, easily managed units |
| negative inquiry | showed your willingness to improve and gather useful info at the same time |
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