Psych 149 - Intimate Relationships final
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61 terms
Terms | Definitions |
|---|---|
 commitment | tendency to maintain a relationship - feel psych attached to it |
| 8 basic elements of commitment | psych attachment, motivation to stay, long-term orientation degree of dependence on relationship, willingness to stay for better or worse, cognitive/emotional/motivational state that influences wide range of behaviors |
| Rusbult's investment model of investment | satisfaction +, alternatives -, investments + = commitment feelings |
| satisfaction | degree to which relationship fulfills important needs, strength of forces pulling you toward your partner (depends on CL - comparison level) |
| investments | things you put into your relationship, or resources attached to your relationship - more bound to relationship if you feel resources would be lost or decline in value if it ended |
| types of resources | direct: time, emotional energy, personal sacrifices made indirect: mutual friends, shared memories, shared activities, possessions, personal identity |
| other factors in commitment | external pressures, moral prescriptions, social norms, personality (narcissism, avoidant attachment) |
| willingness to forgive | willingness to forgo retribution, demands for atonement, less judgement, more constructive, a change of heart, regarding the incident to the past |
| trust components | predictability, dependability, faith (would they sacrifice for you?) |
| benefits of high felt trust | give partner benefit of doubt, less vigilant of partner's behavior, frees up resources to focus on other things - oppposite for low felt trust |
| how do low trust people respond? | it is best to be wanted, but if we cant be, then we can be needed. ppl start to do things that make them indispensible to their partner so that they are dependent on them |
| relational selves | self knowledge, affect, motivatino, behavioral tendencies in relation to significant others - activated by actual, imagined, or symbolic presence of sig other |
| self expansion theory | falling in love transforms the selfm increases physical and social resources, perspectives, and identities that facilitate goal acheivement, increase self-efficacy and self-esteem |
| IOS model (Inclusion of other in self) | ppl in close relationships act as if some or all aspects of the partner are partially their own, both become cognitively fused to some degree, incorporated into the self (resources, perspectives, characterstics) |
| reflected appraisals | discovering someone loves and even idealizes us increases esteem |
| unmitigated communion | too much overlap in selves causes negative emotions and loss of self, curvilinear relationship at extreme IOS, at break-up, self concept clarity declines and people feel less certain of who they are |
| self verification theory | people seek feedback that confirms their self-conceptions- even when they are negative. helps them feel validated, and anticipate acceptance |
| positive illusions | people are happy when their partners idealize them, and when they idealize their partners. means seeing best in our partner despite imperfections, not unconditional regard (highlight virtues/minimize faults) |
| social cognition | how we process info about the social world |
| informational processing | attention, memory, social inference (any type of social judgements we make about people or events) |
| bottom up processing | external feed into system, perceptions guided by stimuli and context |
| top down processing | internal start and comes down to color interpretation of events, mental schemas how we interpret the world, guided by perceivers characteristics (chronic or temporary mood states/goals |
| attributions | explaining events/causes. answers to why questions. causal= where it originates (internal/external/relational), stability (chronic or temporary), responsibility= blame/credit, intentionality (unintentional or not) |
| conflict of interest | when partner's goals cannot be simultaneously achieved |
| overt conflict | verbal or physical confrontation (fight) |
| hidden agendas | disguising your "real complaint" - argue about something else than what you are really mad about |
| cross complaining | responding to a complaint with another complaint |
| kitchen sinking | dragging in every complaint, past and present (makes it impossible to deal with another complaint) |
| off-beam | drifting off track before problem can be solved |
| mind reading | assuming you know your partners feelings/intentions or assuming they know yours |
| self summarizing | repeating yourself, summarizing what you already said, repetitive/ignores other person/harrasing |
| yes butting | rejecting or resisting every solution of suggestion |
| the stand off | unwilling to give in or compromise |
| not listening | focusing on what you're going to say next and not paying attention to what your partner is saying, parallel monologues vs. dialogue |
| demand withdraw pattern | one partner pressures the other to change by demanding, the other withdraws emotionally or physically leaves the room |
| relational evaluation | degree to which other consider their relationships with us to be valuable, important, and close |
| basic human needs threatened with rejection | need for attachment, self-esteem, and control |
| biological reaction to rejection and ostracism | stress reaction: increased stress hormones, cardio reactivity, immune system activation social pain theory: social pain activated same neuro pathways as physical pain |
| social self-preservation theory | ppl motivated to preserve the their social self just like physical self. threats to both are treated by the mind and body in similar ways. coordinated psychobiological reponse that enables us to mobilize resources, protect self, protect valued relationships |
| jealousy | aversive emotional state, characterzied by hurt, anger, and fear. caused by real or imagined threat to the relationship, fear of losing what you have |
| envy | aversive emotional state, caused by desire to have what others have, wanting what you don't have (any kind of resource) |
| reactive vs. suspicious jealousy | reactive: occurs when we become aware of an ACTUAL threat to a valued relationship. response to realistic stranger. suspicious: unfounded, IMAGINED threat, no actual misbehavior, worried and mistrustful vigilance/snooping |
| social psych perspective on jealousy | caused by feeling inferior to partner (lower in "mate value"), feeling inadequate, perception of unequal involvement or commitment, high dependence on relationship because of poor alternatives |
| what types of rivals make us jealous? | high mate value, make us look bad by comparison, surpasses us in accomplishments on dimensions we care about women: beauty men: power/money/educated |
| responses to jealousy | obsessed with painful images, seek confirmation of fears, seek reassurance of partner's love, focus on changing self, eliminate the rival (direct and indirect), induce guilt, break up or give up, seek revenge |
| types of sacrifice | approach: sacrifice in order to increase partner well being - to increase relationship closeness avoidance: sacrifice in order to avoid conflict, guilt, sanctions |
| accommodation | pro relationship strategy: willingness to inhibit destructive responses to partner's poor behavior. people who aren't good at controlling their impulses are less likely to accommodate, and when resources are depleted. basically dont sweat the small stuff |
| foregiveness | willingness to forego retribution, demands for atonement, less judgemental, more constructive, change of heart, relegating the incident to the past - only beneficial for those with partners who rarely behave negatively |
| doormat effect | if you keep forgiving someone that keeps transgressing you, not only will they continue to transgress, but it also decreases your esteem. foregiveness without amends reduced self-respect and self-concept clarity |
| informational support | advice, guidance |
| network support | shared interests |
| key features of effective support | sensitivity: providing type and amount of support that is wanted and needed, being in sync with your partner's needs responsiveness: providing support in a way that makes your partner feel validated, understood, and cared for |
| misguided support | dismissing or minimizing problems, criticizing or blaming, controlling or providing unwanted advice, over protection/involvement, make them feel guilts/like a burden/incompetent/weak/needy |
| costs of asking for advice | lowered self-efficacy/esteem, feeling indebted, appearing weak, guilt, worrying about being a burden |
| michaelangelo effect | power of love to promote personal growth, close partners sculpt one another into moving closer to their own ideals, indivs become more like their ideal selves over time when their partners hold idealized images of them |
| positive psychology | focus on human strengths, good is not simply the absense of bad, there are distinct appetitive (approach) and aversive (avoidance) motivational systems - good and bad events have independent effects on well-being |
| capitalization | celebrating the good times (social sharing of good news) more people you tell, better your outcomes and better memory for it |
| constructive response to good news | active: partner more excited than I am passive: partner tries to not make a big deal but is happy |
| destructive response to good news | active: partner points out the down sides passive: partner seems disinterested |
| how does capitalization work? | talking allows us to relive and re-experience the event, enhances the accessibility and salience of event in memory, sharing fosters positive social interactions, boosts self-esteem, facilitates positive reflected appraisals, enhances feelings of intimacy and closeness |
| sharing novel/arousing activities | experiences are intrinsically enjoyable and, by being shared, become associated with one's partner (misattribution of arousal). couples have more positive affect during their behavioral interactions (more acceptance and less hostility) |
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