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Psych 175 (Love Material)

Terms in this set (14)

1) BUT....we prefer higher levels of these attributes in our lovers than in our friends
-love relationships are distinct different from friendships

2) love heightens the potential for both positive and negative aspects of close relationships, making love relationships not only more rewarding but more frustrating
-jealousy, being judgmental of ones actions and how they may affect you

3) love relationships, but not friendships, are characterized by a fascination and preoccupation with their partners
-platonic love doesn't fit in this description
-may not always last forever, honeymoon phase...usually lasts one year (always chewing your phone for their texts, rereading texts that make you feel good, trolling their Facebook)
-probably preoccupied because you don't now that person very well, new and shiny

4) there is an intense caring for each other in love relationships, even more so than in friendships
-being an advocate for a lover (we stand up for them even though they might have done something inappropriate)
-giving more of oneself
-although there are some friendships you care about just as much as a lover
-ex: husband gets fired form gov job because he was watching lorn at work. Wife was furious because he was watching so much it was interfering with their relationship. But as mad, humiliated that this was continuing to be a problem, she still got him an attorney to get it off his record. Despite her dislike, she still advocated for him (intrinsic motivation, self-inclusions...him loosing his job is affecting her perspective, and resources...so that is hey we would be an advocate, so take them on as sort of ourselves)

5) because the greater exclusiveness and emotional involvement between lovers , they experience greater conflict, distress, and mutual criticism in their relationship than do friends
-Monogamous lover, multiple friends
-Social ecology, if you have lots of friends and one is really annoying, we can just hang out with different friends. But with lover, we ar eon love with t hem and not going to find another lover so we try to change them and be more critical