Pastoral Counseling Final Study Guide
Terms in this set (33)
an exaggerated, often arrogant, unreasonably high opinion of oneself in relation to others.
biblically an accurate self-appraisal, a freedom from inflated self-importance, and a healthy interest in the needs of others.
the evaluation that an individual makes about his or her worth, competence, and significance.
A normal response to the loss of any significant person, object, or opportunity.
Influencing factors involving how people grieve
Prior anticipation, type of loss, religious beliefs, background and personality, social environment, and circumstances accompanying the death.
Counseling those who grieve
Different for men and women, give support/ assistance, Listen without preaching, reassure, prayer, gently challenge distortions
Pathological effects of grief
When grief is denied, delayed, never ending, or distorted. Displayed with unwillingness to talk about the deceased, talking about them in the present tense, threats of self-destruction, persisting depression, social withdrawal, excessive drinking or substance abuse, excessive hostility, moodiness, guilt, impulsivity, or anti social behavior, refusal to change room or dispose of clothing, resistance to counseling, intense busyness and unusual hyperactivity, refusal to show emotion, euphoric attitude (rejoicing in the Lord).
Pastoral approach to those who grieve
Recognize limitations, establish policy, preach/teach, develop a list of community resources, and after care.
Challenges single people face
Coping with emotions, battle with self-esteem, discovering where to "fit in", managing sexuality, overcoming loneliness, and finding intimacy apart from marriage.
adaptability and flexibility, empathy, ability to work through problems, ability to give and receive love, emotional stability, communication skills, commitment, common beliefs/ values.
The core of a marital relationship
Leaving, cleaving and synthesis (two becoming one).
Basic needs of a husband/ wife
Husband: sexual fulfillment, recreational companion, attractive spouse, family commitment, admiration, and respects the family budget. Wife: romantic affection, conversation, good provider, family commitment, spiritual leadership, and husband's equal.
Implications of Genesis 2:24
Two become one, or a marital synthesis.
Assess the relationship (strengths, weaknesses, core issues)
Why marriages fail
sexual infidelity, desertion by one of the mates, escalating conflict, greater cultural acceptance of divorce, making separation easier, personal immaturity, and persisting stress.
Why premarital counseling
Address unrealistic expectations, discuss common myths, explore important issues, previous marriage, gender differences, communication, boundaries, in laws, commitment, and resolving conflicts.
Defined by individual's perspective, and culture's perspective.
a disease that is predictable, progressive, physiologically debilitating, and treatable.
is a series of five 125- item inventories that have been developed over a twenty-five-year period and taken by over 1.5 million couples. The tests uncover relationship issues that couples are likely to face. Must be administered by a trained counselor.
slows the couple down so they can spend time thinking about their marriage, sends the message that marriage matters, teaches the couple where to go for counseling if they need it later, and provides training in issues like communication skills, problem-solving, and conflict resolution so the risk of later marital distress or divorce is lessened.
Why? Absence of an appropriate mate, unrealistic expectations, called to single living, death of a spouse, and pursuit of other interests.
Goal setting: divorce counseling
help the couple separate from the marriage in a way that is consistent with biblical teaching, with a minimum of pain or destruction to themselves and others, and with a maximum of growth and new learning.
Causes of mental illness
Biological factors, psychological factors, sociocultural factors, sin, stress (psychodynamic), learned (behaviorists), incorrect beliefs (cognitive), physiological problems (medical model), and it is safe to assume that different disorders have different causes.
Goal of the christian life
To become Christ-like.
Stages of a blended family
1: dream stage, 2. Diffusion stage, 3. Disturbance stage, 4. Determination, and 5. Definition.
Factors that often result in addiction
Exposure, situational factors, family characteristics, personality, anxiety reduction, expectations, and sociocultural factors.
Double-funnel theory of mate selection
When romantic attraction occurs a man wants/expects "contact"... a woman wants and expects "commitment".
Marital Affairs: why do they occur?
One spouse feels neglected, circumstances that result in the first breach of boundaries, spouse feels they're not being heard, husband is undesired/ wife unappreciated, sexual dysfunction, child/children not mutually desired, and married partner fulfills adolescence they never had.
ABC equation regarding family members
A is stressful event or situation, B is the family's resources, and C is the way family members view the situation. These three influences together determine the severity of the crisis (X). ABC=X
Common marital problems
Communication (80%), overly independent or enmeshed relationship, money management, religious differences, role conflicts, in-law relationships, cultural differences, and inability to bond.
Common phases of grief
Denial, depression, loneliness, anger, guilt, and physical symptoms.
Gary Chapman's "Three things to be a successful lover"
Information, will and frequency.
Qualities of a good marriage partner
feels good about who he/she is, not easily offended, practices the art of forgiveness, has even/stable emotional tone, possess a cooperative nature, communicates openly/ honestly about his/her needs.
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