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2016 Importance of Being Earnest Epigrams & Wit

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The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature an impossibility.
Algernon
The modern sympathy with invalids is morbid. Illness of any kind is hardly a thing to be encouraged in others.
Lady Bracknell
The amount of women who flirt with their own husbands is scandalous. It is simply washing one's clean linen in public.
Algernon
It is important not to keep a business engagement if one wants to retain any sense of the beauty of life.
Algernon
The good end happily, the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
Miss Prism
Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. Fortunately, in England at any rate, Education produces no effect whatsoever.
Lady Bracknell
I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.
Algernon
Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old.
Lady Bracknell
One must be serious about something if one wants to have any amusement in life.
Algernon
Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
Lady Bracknell
In matters of grave importance, style not sincerity is the vital thing.
Gwendolen
How absurd to talk of the equality of the sexes! Where questions of self-sacrifice are concerned, men are infinitely beyond us.
Gwendolen
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
Lady Bracknell
I hate to seem inquisitive but, would you kindly tell me who I am?
Jack
The two weak points of our age are want of principle and want of profile. Style depends largely on the way the chin is worn. They are worn very high at present.
Lady Bracknell
The way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.
Algernon
By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
Miss Prism
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.
Lady Bracknell
There is something in that name that inspires absolute confidence.
Gwendolen
All women become like their mothers — that is their tragedy. No man does.That's his.
Algernon (to Jack)
I have only been married once. That was the consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.
Lane
In married life three is company and two is none.
Algernon
Never speak disrespectfully of Society. Only people who can't get into it do that.
Lady Bracknell
It is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.
Algernon
An engagement is hardly a serious one that has not been broken off at least once.
Cecily
My first impressions of people are never wrong.
Gwendolen
After we had all been resigned to his loss, his sudden return seems to me parculiarly distressing.
Miss Prism
Your vanity is ridiculous, your conduct an outrage and your presence in my garden utterly absurd.
Jack
Girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right.
Algernon