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Sociology 213 Test 3 Ch. 6 and 7

Terms in this set (163)

psychologist Robert Sternberg stages of love:

*Intimacy-encompasses feelings of closeness, connectedness, bonding

*Passion- leads to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation

*Decision/commitment - has a short and a long-term dimension. In the short term, partners make a decision to love each other, in the long term, they make a commitment to maintain that love over time.

mix of intimacy, passion, and commitment can vary from one relationship to another.
Relationships range from:

*Nonlove - all 3 components absent
*Consummate love - which all the elements are present
when all 3 present

Even when all 3 components present, vary in intensity and over time for each partner

"perfectly matched" - equally passionate, intimate, committed and love will be "perfect"
if intimacy/commitment varies, may still be "closely matched"
both equally passionate, one more intimacy, other unwilling make long-term commitment, "moderately matched" , make commitment, one neither as intimate or passionate as other, be "severely mismatched"

useful in counseling
love encompasses more than just passion, - fleeting component of love - will be fewer unfulfilled expectations, less disappointment
decline of passion is normal
love encompasses more than just passion
triangular theory of love has limitations
"perfectly matched" exists only in Disney movies
love varies depending on one's marital status
intimacy/passion may be much stronger in casual dating than marriage
commitment much higher among married couples than dating or engaged couples
Canadian sociologist John Lee developed most widely cited/studied theories of love

Six Basic Styles of Loving:

1- Eros - love of beauty, powerful physical attraction "love at first sight", love in romance novels, lovers experience palpitations, light-headedness, intense emotional desire
matching T shirts, colors, order same foods, identified w/ each other as much as possible
2- Mania- obsessiveness, jealousy, possessiveness, intense dependency, expressed as anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, headaches, suicide of real/imagined rejection by desired person, low self-esteem, poor self-concept, manic aren't attractive to those who have strong self-concept, high self-esteem
3- Ludus- carefree, casual love "fun and games" several partners at one time, aren't possessive or jealous, don't want lovers dependent on them, sex for fun, not emotional rapport, self-centered, exploitative b/c don't want commitment, they consider it "scary"
4- Storge - slow-burning, peaceful, affectionate love, comes w/ passage of time, enjoyment of shared activities, lack the ecstatic highs/lows of other styles of loving,
for some social scientists storge love is equivalent to companionate love - characterized by feelings of togetherness, tenderness, deep affection, and supporting each other over time
companionate love- sex occurs later than in erotic, manic, ludic love b/c partners goals usually marriage, home, children - even if break up, storge like to remain friends, passion replaced w/ spirituality, respect contentment
5 - Agape - altruistic, self-sacrificing love directed toward all humankind, always kind/patient never jealous or demanding doesn't seek reciprocity. Lee never found any agape during his interviews
6 - Pragma - rational love based on practical considerations, described as "love w/ a shopping list", seeks compatibility on characteristics such as background, education, religious views, occupational interests, recreational pursuits, one person doesn't work out, pragmatist moves on to search for someone else.
look out for their partners encouraging them to ask for promotion or finish college, practical when divorce, stay together until youngest child finishes high school or until both partners find better jobs,
people equate romance w/ love
romance only stepping-stone
may jump-start love, but often fizzles months, years passion evaporate
romantic long-term love overlap
attributes - trust, understanding, honesty
romantic love effortless compared to lasting love, demanding
DIFFERENCES:
1-much less work romantic evening than patient w/ partner everyday year after year
easier fall in love than stay in love
2-romantic love self-centered, long-term love altruistic
own fantasies, obsessions, lasting love requires partner before self, making him/her feel cherished
love that isn't obsessive characterizes long-term relationships
3- romance is short-lived b/c love changes over time
flaw are cute at first but unbearable year after wedding
values, especially religious beliefs become important after the birth of first child
4-gestures differ - romantic love outward expressions affection flowers, gifts, intimate touching constantly, texting love notes, candlelit dinners
long-term love less tangible materialistic- honesty, listening making sacrifices
safe secure in our love for each other,
5- long-term love grows, develops, romantic love typically short-lived self-centered
romantic lovers insecure so may demand constant attention, display affection, reassurances
never-ending self-absorbed commands - "prove to me you love me" tedious annoying
6- companionate (storgic) love - more characteristic of long-term relationships compared w/ passion /game playing in romantic love
Committed partners, ruled by head and heart faithful each other plan for future together
Demographic variables socioeconomic status long-term relationships
Western societies emphasize individualism free choice
cultures stress group and community, arrangements between families more important than romantic love
early colonists believed marriage too important based on love - politics economics, not romance key factors selecting partner
early 20th century people came expect marriage based on love, sexual attraction, personal fulfillment
romantic love exists 89% societies,
studies China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Hawaii people, especially young, believe in passionate love
Romance least important in societies where kin take precedence over individual relationships
Burma, India, Mexico said storgic, agapic, pragmatic love more desirable than manic, erotic, ludic love
Much of China, love tempered by match needs parental approval
Saudi Arabia - Middle East - public embracing men/women taboo, sexes can't mix in public, woman caught w/ unrelated man be flogged, arrested, killed
Indian govt endorses marriage across castes, not everyone supports this
radical groups denounced Valentine's Day, offensive to Indian culture,
Japan - highest divorce rates in world, expressing love and affection is uncommon especially men rarely see their wives children - men pressured put job first demonstrate loyalty by working long hours
Demonstrate husbands appreciation of wives, founded a Devoted Husband Organization and declared Jan. 1 "Beloved Wives Day"
husband supposed tell his wife he loves her for all she does every day for him and family
not national holiday, but more men joining organization show respect affection for wives avoid divorce
one consistent finding - cultures, racial, ethnic, regions country, social classes, diverse family structures- parents unanimous feeling responsible for childs sex education and want child to have loving committed partner
parents not talking about sex as much as they should
discussions often gendered
by age 18, 97% US teens received some formal sex education, not from parents
female male teens equally likely talk parents STDs prevent HIV/AIDS
parents talk daughter more son abstinence, birth control, where get birth control
38% boys talk parents how use condom
data suggests females not females not responsible for preventing pregnancy
many parent's sexuality education even early childhood gendered
survey US Moms 3-6 yr olds moms more likely tell daughters not sons sex and having babies confined marriage, teaching girls stricter moral standard
preteens 10-12 parents more concerned external threats childs healthy sex development
worry porn TV negativve TV role models sexting sexual predators explicit sex content music video advertising
worry peer pressure engage in sex
black parents especially concerned daughters puberty young age, attracting inappropriate attention older boys men
counter negative effects media peers parents often talk preteens sex, creating opportunities talk, maintaining good relationship w/ children, talking about happening sex ed classes, using books, religious teachings read discuss
believe others teens not THEIRS are sexually active, teens believe they know what they're dong, embarrassed , don't want interference
many parents don't talk about sex to children
media pop culture deluge us unrealistic portrayals of sexuality
schools community groups assumed responsibility for teaching kids
90% parents approve school providing comprehensive sexuality education (CSE)
begin in K through 12th grade
age appropriate medically accurate info anatomy, relationships, abstinence, contraception, disease prevention
10% parents want abstinence only curriculum
26 states require schools emphasize abstinence
especially in south , abstinence only
2001 Bush admin fed program fund abstinence only curricula - cost more than $1 billion
President Obama promised shift abstinence only programs to teen pregnancy prevention programs not happened
2012 Congress approved $180 million for CSE curricula $55 million abstinence only programs
advocates argue just say no delay sex until marriage work
studies show no
virginity pledges 82%-88% sexually active year later denied taking pledge
15-19 yr abstinence only ed didn't reduce premarital sex, did lower risk unintended pregnancies, STDs
56 studies evaluated abstinence only and CSE programs and found didn't delay of sex
2/3 CSE delay sex,increased condom, contraceptive use,
states abstinence only programs, almost all in South, unintended teen pregnancy twice as high as those of sstates with a CSE curriculum
most effective? those w/ comprehensive, provide accurate information reproduction, emphasize abstinence but also condoms, birth control, begin elementary before adolescents engage sexual intercourse, target high-risk, poor neighborhoods
1- societal stigma and a lack of information promote infections - 2010 - age 13-24 accounted for 26% new HIV infections almost 60% didn't know had virus, many of those who been tested diagnosed w/ HIV didn't enter or stay in treatment b/c of stigma that HIV carries
2- assimilation increases risky behavior - immigrants more Americanized, lose healthy immigrant effect - avoiding drugs, having unprotected heterosexual and MSM sex
Among Latinos age 16-22, current US sexual values displace traditional cultural values
young men who follow traditional machismo sexual scripts, emphasize satisfying sexual needs w/ one or more partners sex early age, use condoms inconsistently or not at all, virginity important but during assimiliation process, likely to have sex not use condoms or contraceptives, b/c love partner believe males sexually faithful
3- poverty spreads infections
African American 6 times more likely infected w/ chlamydia than whites, half HIV infected people are African Americans
minority women in poor neighborhoods often scarcity of eligible men, usually select sexual partners from same high risk neighborhood low income women engage in risky sex b/c combination of structural and situational reasons - not insist condom use, suspect men have STDs, homeless fear violence or loss of financial support, children, using drugs, exchange sex for money or drugs
4- family environment increases risky behavior - unstable home life substance use - violence, child abuse increase teen engaging risky sex - many partners, not using condoms, alcohol, drugs