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Chapter 4 Intimate relationships and communication
Terms in this set (62)
What is a healthy relationship?
Being able to self sooth, regulate your emotions, and feel comfortable with your own company
What 3 factors that contribute to a healthy sense of self and allows us to love and respect others
1. positive self concept (how you perceive yourself)
2. healthy level of self esteem (how you feel about yourself)
3. affirmative self-acceptance (how you value yourself)
What is a gender role?
The activities, abilities, and characteristics deemed culturally appropriate for us based on our sex
FYI:Sociologist Penny Ekcert found that at early adolescent age girls start using their voices so that in one moment they speak in a low pitch and the next in a high one- boys decrease their range in pitch sounding monotone- they speak differently as to fit in socially and finding a mate
How early do we establish attachment?
In infancy with our mother, father, and siblings or primary care givers
What percent of Americans have don't have attachments in their lives?
6% of Americans feels that they have no one "especially significant" in their lives
What is the first relationship that we form outside of family?
What characteristics do friendships include?
1. Companionship (common values/interest spend time
2. Respect (don't demeaning or insult each other)
3. Acceptance (accept each other for who they are)
4. Help (rely on each other)
5. Trust (don't intentionally hurt each other)
6. Loyalty (count on one another)
7. Mutuality (what affects you affects me)
8. Reciprocity (give and take between friends)
What does love reflect
Love reflects the positive factors that draw people together. and sustain their relationships. it includes trust, caring, respect, loyalty, interest in one another, and concern for the other well being.
How many Dimensions does love has
Love has three dimensions: intimacy, passion, and commitment component. intimacy refers to feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness and bondedness.
Passion and encompass is motivational drive and sexual attraction. Commitment relates to the decision to remain together with the ultimate goal of making long-term plans with that person.
What is the triangle theory of love.
Passion commitment and intimacy
How is sex with love seen in our culture.
Although sex with love is an important norm in our culture it is frequently disregarded and practice.
What are the two components of human emotions?
Physiological arousal and an emotional explanation for the arousal.
What is the key to relationships
The key to successful relationship is in transforming passion into an intimate love Based closeness , caring, and the promise of a shared future.
How does honesty affect the relationship?
Honesty is necessary to achieve the freedom for the next step of the relationship. Intimate familiararity with your partner in life is a key characteristic of successful long-term relationships.
What is emotional intelligence
These factors include self-awareness, self esteem, empathy, and they add up to different ways of being intelligent known as "emotional intelligence"
Unequal or premature commitment
When one person in an intimate partnership becomes more serious about the relationship than the other, they can be difficult to maintain it without someone feeling hurt.
1. Expecting your partner to change.
2. Assuming that your partner has all the same opinions, priorities, interests, and goals as you do.
3. Believing that a relationship will fufill all of your personal financial intellectual and social needs.
Balancing time together and apart
Talk with your partner about what time a part means and share your feelings about what you expect from the relationship in terms of time together.
Jealousy is the anger painful response to our partners real imagined or possible involvement with a third person. (jealousy is actually a sign of insecurity or possessiveness)
Another key to successful relationship is the ability to ask for and give support. Partners need to know that they can count on each other during difficult times.
Relatively extreme examples of unhealthy relationships are those that are physically or emotionally abusive or that involve codependency.
Ending a relationship
1. Give the relationship a fair chance before break up.
2. Be fair and honest
3. Be tactful and compassionate, and admit your own contributions to the problem.
4. If you are the rejected person, give yourself time to resolve your anger and pain.
4. Recognize the value in the experience.
FYI: tone of voice conveys most accurately a person's emotional state
FYI: attunement means tuning into each others tone of voice
How does digital communication in our social networks affect relationships
Digital communication is crucial and maintain some relationships that would otherwise be altogether lost.
What are good communication skills
Three skills essential to good communication in relationships are self disclosure, listen, and feedback.
Does married couples share more than non-married couples
Married couples sometimes you're blessed and may make unwarranted assumptions because they think they already know everything about each other
What is self disclosure
Self disclosure involves revealing personal information that we ordinarily wouldn't reveal because of the risk involved
What is the listening?
Blaine advising analyzing or trying to control. Warm respect, and Jerry was this or qualities of a skillful listener.
What is positive feedback
Giving positive feedback means acknowledging that the friends or partners feelings are valid no matter how upsetting or trouble at all for a self disclosure in response. (feedback is a constructive response to anothers self-disclosure)
What is conflict?
conflict is normal in a relationship- it is important to recognize conflict and not act out on it in an abusive way. Conflict sometimes leads to anger and it is important to recognize conflict and pay attention to it and it may need to be changed
What are some ways to resolve conflict?
1. Clarify the issue- think through your feelings to figure out what's really bothering you- let one partner speak at a time and respond with questions to clarify the issue or to get more information
2. Find out what each person wants- don't assume you know what they want- ask them to express their desires
3. Determine how you both can get what you want- brainstorm to come up with options
4. Decide how to negotiate- work out a plan for change
5. Solidify the arrangements- go over the plan, maybe write it down to assure you both understand it
6. Review and renegotiate- try out your plan and discuss how it's working, make adjustments if needed
How do partners resolve conflicts safely?
Partners should follow some ground rules, do not use sex to smooth over disagreements, avoid being harshly critical. Partners have to feel safe and trust that the discussion won't be out of control and they won't be abandoned. Finish conflicts on a positive note respecting each other.
Pairing and singlehood
Intimate relationships are as important for singles as for couples.
first attraction when choosing a partner?
First attraction is based on easily observable characteristics, looks, dress, social status, and Reciprocated interests.
Most people pair with someone who
1. Live in the same geographic area.
2. Comes from a similar ethnic and social economic background.
3. Has a similar educational status.
4. Leads a lifestyle like bears
5. Has what they think is the same level of physical attractiveness as themselves.
The most in Porten question for potential mates to ask is
"How much do we have in common"
What can affect the relationship
Differences can affect the relationship in the areas of volues, religion, ethnicity, attitude toward sexual and gender roles, social economic status for for Familiarity with each other's culture and interactions with the extended family.
Casual sexual activity without any relationship or commitment.
Positives for dating sites
Start and end relationships at any time.
2. Set your own pace
3. You can get to know someone from the comfort of your own home
4. Share things you might not share other wise.
5 You can find exactly what you are thinking.
6. The Internet can increase a persons chance of finding a good match.
If you pursue one on one relationship the following may help you have a positive experience and stay safe
1. To improve your chances of meeting someone interested in you as a person, avoid sexual oriented websites. Some sites that seem like dating sites are actually use for hooking up that is arranging meeting for casual sex rather then for building relationships.
2. Know what you're looking for as well as what you can offer someone else. (If you are looking for a relationship make that a fact and clear)
3. Don't post photos unless you are completely comfortable with the potential consequences.
4. Don't give out personal information including your real name, school, or place of employment until you feel sure that you are giving the information to someone who is trustworthy.
5. Set up a second email account for sending and receiving dating related emails.
6. If someone does not respond to a message don't take it personal. There are many reasons why a person may not pursue the connection.
6. Before deciding whether to meet in one line for an in person, arrange to talk over the phone a few times.
7. Don't agree to meet someone face-to-face unless you feel comfortable about it. Always meet initially in a very public place they museum a coffee shop or restaurant.
2010 survey conducted by the national center for health statistics reveal bad cohabitation is much less likely been marriage to survive the one, three, five year milestone.
Tend to be more equal and less organized around traditional gender roles. Same-sex couples put greater emphasis on partnership than on role assignment. Domestic task are shared or split, and both partners Yulee support themselves financially.
Why did people marry in the past/Today.
In the past people married mainly for practical reasons, such as raising children or foreman economic unit. Today people Mary Moore for personal, emotional reasons.
Married )52.1%) separated or divorced. 9.0%. Widowed (2.5%). Never Married. (34.4 %)
Married 49.5%. Separated or divorced, 11.0%. Widowed 9.0%. Never Married. (28.0 %)
The benefits of marriage
The primary function and benefits of marriage are those of any intimate relationship. Affection, personal affirmation, companionship, sexual fulfillment, and emotional growth.
Relationship characteristics appear to be the best predicate or's of a happy marriage.
* The partners have realistic expectations about their relationship.
* Each feels good about the personality of the other.
* Partners develop friendships with other couples.
* they communicate well.
* They have effective ways of resolving conflict.
* They agree or religious or ethnic or values.
* they have in Egalitarian role relationship.
* They have a good balance of individual versus joint interest in leisure activities.
Study show that divorce women are more likely to develop heart disease then married remarried or widowed women.
Does couples that divorce get remarried
About 75% of all people who divorced remarried, often within five years.
Separation or divorce in American men, 2011.
* White 11.5%, Black 13.5%. Asian 4.3%. Hispanic 9.1%
Separation or divorce American women, 2011.
White 13.2% Black 17.2%. Asian 7.2 %. Hispanic 13.2%.
Parenting styles very according to the levels of two characteristics of the parents.
* Demandiness income passes the use of discipline and supervision, the expectations that children act responsibly and maturely, and the direct reaction to disobedience.
*. Responsiveness(Facilitate independence and self confidence, supportive connected, and understanding of the child's needs.
* Authoritarian, are high in the Mandy miss in Lowell and responsiveness.
* authoritative, parents are high in both the mandamus and responsiveness. They set clear boundaries and expectations but they were also loving supportive, and attended to their children's needs.
* permissive parents are high and responsiveness and low in the demendingness. They do not expect their truth and to act maturely but instead allow them to follow their own impulses. They are very warm, patient, and excepting, and they are focused on not stifling there Childs innate creativity.
* uninvolved parent start low and both demanding this and responsiveness. They require a little from their child and respond with a little action, frequent, or effort. In extreme cases, this style of parent might reach level of child neglect.
What percentage live with one parent.
According to the us census Bureau, about 27% of all children under 18 live with only one parent.
What single parent house holds baby come before marriage
Data reported in 2011 indicate that 25% were white, 55% were black, and 29% were Hispanic.
Main Problems for single mother
Economic difficulties are the primary problem for single mothers especially for unmarried mothers who have not finished high school and have difficulty finding work.
What are common routines for successful families
Dinnertime a regular bedtime, and household chores common rituals include birthdays holidays weekend activities.
What are strong qualities in strong families
Commitment. The family is very important to its members sexual fidelity between partners is included in commitment.
Appreciation. Family members care about one another and express their appreciation.
Communications family member spend time listening to one another and enjoy one another's company. Time together Spiritual wellness.
Stress and crisis management. When faced with illness and death more towel conflict, or other crisis family members pool together, seek help, And use other coping strategies to meet the challenge.
The strong families seek counseling opportunities
It may surprise some people that members of strong families are often seen at counseling centers. They know that the smartest thing to do in some situations is to get help.
FYI: 4% of American children live in a home where neither parent is present.
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