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Reno Sweeney Lines Anything Goes
Terms in this set (99)
Fred: Nope. But there was a lady came in asking for you.
He's wrong, Billy. It was only me.
Billy: Reno! Oh, my god! We had a date-
That's O.K. I'd say forget it, but you already did.
Billy: Reno, I'm sorry. My boss is going to London in the morning. I had to do a thousand things for him.
I'm going to London in the morning. All you had to do for me was buy me a drink.
Fred: What'll it be, Ma'am?
A Martini- only make it with rye and put a cherry in it instead of an olive.
Billy: Two Manhattans, Fred.
You know, I'm getting worried about you, Billy. I'm not sure this Wall Street job is good for you.
Billy: Hey, I'm making thirty-five dollars a week.
Yeah, but look at you. Look at your coat.
Billy: What's the matter with my coat?
It's got a fried egg on the pocket.
Billy: That's an old school crest.
From where? P.S. 88? You're in trouble, kid. If you keep acting like a stuffed shirt stockbroker, you're going to turn into one.
Billy: Why do I put up with this, Fred?
You're nuts about me. In fact, I've got a great idea. Why don't you come to London with me?
Billy: Reno, be serious.
I am serious. England won't be the same without you.
Billy: Guys like me are a dime a dozen. You won't miss me over there.
Why are the cute ones always so dumb. (I Get A Kick Out Of You)
Billy: Aw hell, Reno, there's something I've got to tell you.
Billy: I'm in love.
I'm in cabin thirteen.
Billy: Come on Reno-not with you. I'm in love with a girl. God, she's fantastic! She's so fantastic she won't even talk to me! That's why I can't go to London, I've got to stay here and-
Oh, so that's it, eh? All this time you were just giving me the run-around.
Billy: The runaround?
You had me thinking you wanted to marry me!
Billy: How could you think that? I always treated you with respect.
Exactly. Did you ever try to get me drunk? No. Did you ever ask me up to your apartment to look at your etchings? No. We've been in a taxi dozens of times, and did you ever once grope? No. Not one lousy grope. You shouldn't have led me on like that if you didn't mean it!
Billy: Reno, I never meant to mislead you.
The hell you didn't! You never even laid a hand on me, and I'm not used to men treating me like that! (I Get A Kick Out Of You (Reprise))
Reporter: I'll say! Hey, Reno, what are you doing on board this barge?
Same thing I do in my nightclub, boys. I'll be saving sinners twice a night in the ship's lounge.
Photographer: I see you brought the sinners with you.
Meet my angels. Purity.
Minister: The easy kind, no doubt.
Say, brother, was that a pass?
Minister: Miss Sweeney, I have no interest in either you or your fallen Angels. I'm ashamed to be seen in public with you.
How 'bout a picture, boys? Make sure and send a couple to the Archbishop.
I tell you, boys, it ain't easy being New York's most notorious evangelist. Come, who will lead this sinner beside distilled waters?
Which way to the bar? Thank you.
Purser: What is your name, sir?
Billy: Hey, Billy, good to see you!
You came after all! I didn't see you come aboard! Where you been hiding? How'd you get a ticket? Oh, you're sore at me for last night. Listen, Billy- You're not sore at me for last night. Hell, you should be-I was out of line.
Billy: Forget it Reno.
No, no. It's your love life. If you're satisfied with second best, forget about me and go after Miss Fantastic.
Billy: I did. She's on the boat.
Billy: Reno, I'm in a mess. I'm gonna lose my job, my boss is gonna lose his shirt-all because of some damned dame.
She must be some damned dame.
Billy: She is. You're gonna love her, Reno. Her name's Hope. Hope Harcourt.
Hope Harcourt?! The debutante Hope Harcourt?! The one who came out on a Zeppelin?! The one who chases foxes on the cover of Life?!
Billy: What are you saying-she's out of my league?
Billy: Hell, maybe she is.
Billy: No, no, I can see it now. Guys like me deliver her groceries, they don't walk her down the aisle. Besides, she's engaged-to some English guy. An earl or something.
Billy, we've been friends forever, right? So friend to friend, lemme ask you something - Where the hell's the old Crocker confidence?! You think some tea bag can compete with you? You think he's got one tiny fraction of your brains, your looks, your...your... (You're The Top)
Moon: Hey, don't knock the disguise. Hell, its practically as good as mine!
Hi, Billy, how you doin'?
Billy: Uh huh...
And Moonface Martin! Long time no see!
Billy: Aye, aye, sir.
Who's he looking for?
Moon: He's looking for Billy.
Billy ought to be a big help to him.
Evelyn: What ho, it's Reno Sweeney! I say, Lord Evelyn Oakleigh. Might I have your autograph?
Evelyn: Do you know, I spent the most smashing evening at your club! "Lawdy, Lawdy! Saints preserve us!" Your singing stirred me to a frenzy! Had me dancing about like Bojingles!
Evelyn: "Are you drunk or crazy? Good luck. Reno Sweeney." I say, why don't we all have tea in my cabin? I know my fiancée, Miss Harcourt, would love to meet you.
That's very sweet, but I'm afraid-
Evelyn: Marvelous! Shall we say four o'clock?
Evelyn: See ya later, elevator!
Moonie, that's the Tommy that's making time with Billy's girl. This is going to be like consorting with the enemy.
Moon: Exactly. Here's the plan. You get to his cabin early wearing something that slips off easy. I bust in and catch him tearing your clothes off, then we blackmail him into breaking the engagement.
Moon, that's despicable.
Moon: You don't like it?
I love it!
Moon: You know, Reno, we should have teamed up years ago.
We're two of a kind, all right.
Through thick or thin.
Moon: Night or day.
Right or wrong! (Friendship)
Evelyn: Step on it? Makes no sense at all. Come in. I say, you Yanks are fast. Just put it down on the bed, will you. I really wanted it before I started to dress. I hope it's good and hot.
Nobody's complained yet.
Evelyn: Dear me! I thought it was the man with my tea!
What were you going to do if it was cold, cut off his head?
Evelyn: Oh, you mean Excalibur. Old family heirloom. Mother Harcourt wants me to wear it for the wedding, you know, it's odd. The old beezer's as taken with things English as I am with things American.
Well, I'm glad you feel that way because this American certainly feels gaga about you.
Evelyn: Gaga? I'm not sure I follow.
Does this make it any clearer?
Evelyn: Marvelous! "To feel 'gaga' about a person means to rub his neck..."
You don't understand. I mean you do things to me...
Evelyn: Do things to you?
I mean you send me.
Evelyn: Send you where?
One look at you and I get hot pants.
Evelyn: Dear me, would a bit of ice do you any good?
Evie, "hot pants" means that I'm crazy about you.
Evelyn: "Hot pants" means you're crazy about me?! Smashing! Because I think you're the absolute rats pyjamas! I say, is something funny?
Yeah, but it's also kinda cute.
Evelyn: There's nothing wrong here.
Hey, hold on, Moonface-
Evelyn: You know, I've noticed that these clergy sometimes go a bit off.
Aw, Evelyn. There's something I've got to tell you. This was a set-up.
Evelyn: A set-up?
We were going to frame you.
Evelyn: Frame me?
He was supposed to bust in and catch us in a-clinch.
Evelyn: I say do you mean he thought I'd make love to you?
That was the idea.
Moon: You see? Now I guess you realize how serious this is!
Moon, are you nuts! Put that thing away!
Put it down!
Hope: Oh dear!
Oh, I'm so sorry. It just jumped right out of my hand. Evelyn, take Mrs. Harcourt down to her cabin, will you, while I clean this up.
Mrs. Harcourt: Cheeky!
How long are you going to keep up this stupid act?
Hope: I beg your pardon.
You're in love with him - why don't you just admit it?
Hope: I really don't think that this is any of your-
He may want you now, but he's not going to stick around forever. Half the women in New York are crazy about him. Why, just the other night one of the best-looking dames I know practically proposed to him.
Hope: She did? Who was she?
Billy: You know, you break your back to cheat and steal and kill, you wonder if it's worth it. Then, something like this happens... You're beautiful.
Let's go, girls, we've got a show to do... How do you like the royal treatment, Snake Eyes?
Listen, kid, I just saw Hope. She's all broken up.
Oh, a tough guy, huh? Suppose I told you she wants to marry you?
Billy: You're kidding me! She said that?
No. C'mon, you know she's nuts about you, she wants to marry you, she just hasn't got the guts to say so.
Purser: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Sweeney's service is about to begin. Last call for drinks before the service.
Virtue: I would appreciate if you would cease addressing me as "Toots" and henceforth call me by my right name-Mrs. Moonface Martin!
Let me guess-you performed the ceremony yourself.
Captain: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the SS American is pleased to present the worlds most sensuous sermonizer, her high-stepping Holiness-Miss Reno Sweeney!
Hush! Brothers and sisters, we're here tonight to fight the devil. There's only one way to fight the devil, and that's in the open.
I want everybody to turn to his neighbor and say, "Bless you brother, bless you sister." There's only one way to send the devil packing - and that is to confess your sins. Who'll be the first to speak out and say "I'm a sinner."
Female Passenger #1: I am a sinner!
Hallelujah! Thank you, sister, who's next?
Male passenger: I'm a sinner!
Hallelujah! Who's next?
Moon: What do you do now? Use a funnel?
Female Passenger #2: She's not confessing, she's advertising!
Hallelujah! Come on, get busy! Who'll give us a real confession?
Evelyn: I say, may I have a go?
Speak up, brother. I want to hear this.
Evelyn: When I was visiting China some time ago, there was a little Chines girl named Plum Blossom of whom I became very fond. Eventually we had an unpremeditated romp in the rice and I enjoyed it very much.
I was worried about you, brother, but I feel much better now. Hallelujah! (Blow Gabriel Blow)
Evelyn: "Moonlight," by Lord Evelyn Oakleigh:
"A lonely figure walks the deck,
The moonlight dancing off his beano.
'Tis not the ship, ''tis he the wreck-
His heart dashed on a girl named-"
-Miss Sweeney! I say, you startled me!
Sorry. I couldn't sleep.
Evelyn: Nor I.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, Evie, but this time he's got even me stymied. My two best friends are in the slam and tomorrow morning-but, hey, you know all about that. Here's to the happy groom. Make that: Here's to the groom.
Evelyn: Miss Sweeney, you see before you a man staggered by a revelation. It hit me like a stone hammer in the middle of your service. The woman I am to marry tomorrow is not one and the same with the woman I love.
You mean you're not in love with Hope? That's great! I mean, gee, it's a good thing you found out. I mean, just in time and everything...
Evelyn: Ah, there's the rub. You know the Oakleigh motto? Nostrum fuglium sentorum.
What's that mean?
Evelyn: No one really knows. But we're not supposed to go around backing out of engagements. Ah, well...Adieu, Miss Sweeney.
You know there's one thing that I just can't figure. That business in the rice paddy. Plum Blossom. How does that fit in with "nostrum fuglium whatever?"
Evelyn: Goodness. This is most embarrassing. Must I explain?
It's your motto.
Billy: The wedding starts at nine. I've gotta get out of here!
Hey, you bums.
Boys, I got fabulous news. The greatest thing that can happen to a person just happened to me.
Billy: Nah, she's in love.
And what's more, Evelyn's in love with me!
Moon: If only we were Chinese.
John: Purser! Purser!
Pardon me. Your shoe's untied.
Moon: You stay coat?
I stay coat.
Moon: Do you call pants?
I call pants.o
Evelyn: I can't really say, it all happened so long ago...
"Long, long ago/so long ago..."
Evelyn: Right wrong done poor...ooh, I say...confound it, why not? See, here, Plum Blossom, will you marry me?
Sweetie, I thought you'd never ask.
Billy: All right, Captain, let's get on with it. You've got some weddings to perform here.
Come on, Cap! I've waited all my life to be a Lady.
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