201 days. My eyes are dry, body limp and still I haven't cried once. Here I am, sitting in the foster home. Watching the hours minutes and days tick by. 201 days, and still they won't come for me. They died, when I escaped. Why couldn't I have gone back in for them? Why didn't I die too? Still, if I cry it means it's over. I watched the house burn in flames. The screams and cries from inside. But I just stood and watched. It's all my fault I'm not with them. Now I'm sitting in some rat hole. Waiting for a 'new' family. Don't they think I've heard the stories of what a 'new family' does to a girl? I guess not, cause I'm still here. 201 day I've been here. They bring me my food, rub my back, tell me it'll all be okay. But it won't. I'll be sent away to be beaten or worse with my new family. Sure, they could be great, but not like my real family. The family that burned in the fire. The family that I killed. It was me, I was the one who brought home the candle that caused the fire. I was the one who forgot to blow it out. I stood and watched the flames engulf the house. 201 days, those memories have played in my mind. I felt the tears form in my eyes, I tried to blink them away, but they form anyway. At last, they begin to roll down my cheeks. I feel the sobs that choke me, making me cry harder. 201 days, and now they're over. Back to 0, but maybe I can make it better. Maybe I can grin and bear it. But I won't. A man walks into my room, his black hair slicked over. He tells me to come with him, that someone has chosen me. Someone wants me as their daughter. I shuffle my feet across the floor, and my eyes land on the lit candle that is siting on a table. "I'll be down in a minute." I tell him numbly. He gives me a nod. My tear stained face feels warm near the fire. It beckons me closer. And once again, I listen. I fall into it's trap. I pick it up but my fingers are wet from my tears so it slips and shatters on the floor. The fire laps at my feet, but I dare not move. The alarms blare, but I stand still. My ears pick up on voices outside, saying one girl is missing. I smile into the light of the fire. Everyone else was safe. At least I'll see my family. It reaches my chest and I don't even scream. At last it engulfs me. Taking me away, somewhere far far away. Thinking about that day, it was the best and worse desicion I've ever made. 1 day I've been with my family in heaven... The 1st day of many.