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Irene's Line- Hello Dolly
Terms in this set (66)
Minnie: Oh dear, oh my, will you look at that............ Cherries and feathers she wants, on today of all days, when that poor sweet Mrs. Molloy has enough on her mind what with...
With what, Minnie?
Minnie: With the door! It's stuck.
It's stuck? Then push! Whew!
Minnie: ...And as I was saying, Mrs. Molloy, I could bite out my tongue for the things I've said and the things I'm going to say but as long as I've gone this far I might as well go all the way! Mrs. Molloy... why... why...
Say it, Minnie. Why have I decided to marry Horace Vandergelder?
Minnie: Oh, Mrs. Molloy, I didn't ask you that! I would rather die on the rack than ask you such a personal question! But as long as you did bring it up...
I am marrying Horace Vandergelder for one reason and one reason alone, Minnie! To get away from the millinery business. I hate hats!
Minnie: Mrs. Molloy!
Don't protest, Minnie! All millineresses are suspected of being wicked women. That's why I can't go into restaurants or balls or theaters- that's all the proof they'd need! Take my word for it, Minnie- either I marry Horace Vandergelder or I break out of this place like a fire engine! oh no, not Miss Mortimer again?
Minnie: Miss Mortimer. I'll take care of it.
No, Minnie, leave it be! You can make another hat for Miss Mortimer if you like. I'm wearing this one myself.
Minnie: Mrs. Molloy, you can't! You're a widow and that hat... well, it's... it's provocative, that's what!
It is, Minnie? Well, who knows who may walk into the shop today... and provocative may be just what I want to be!
Minnie: Mrs. Molloy, wild horses can't make me ask this next question I'm about to ask, but I'm going to ask it anyhow! Do you love Horace Vandergelder?
No, Minnie. I don't. Peter Molloy, God rest him, was my share of love and I'm not sayin' I was short changed. Once is enough for a woman as long as it's true love, and it was that. Minnie, look. There's two me staring at the shop.
Why do I believe they mean to come in here!
Minnie: Men! In the shop! Oh, Mrs. Molloy, what shall we do?
Do? Why, flirt with them of course! I'll give you the short one.
Minnie: Mrs. Molloy! And you with all that talk about love!
Long enough I've had, Minnie! It's a bit of adventure I could do with now! We'll get them all heated up and then drop them cold. It'll be good practice for married life. Now you go into the workroom, Minnie, I know some ways we can perk up our appearances. Besides, a bit of a wait will only make them nervous and easier for us to...
Minnie: If you say vampire, I'll scream!
Vampire! ... Oh Minnie, we'll get an adventure out of this yet!
Cornelius: When those women come out we'll have to pretend to be customers! Customers, that's it! Maybe the best thing to do is make them think we're rich. Then we won't have to spend anything! We're two men about town looking for hats for ladies. Good afternoon, Mrs.-
Barnaby: Here, Barnaby Tucker!
My pleasure, gentlemen. Now what can I do for you, hmm?
Barnaby: It's sitting right on that bench.
Excuse me, but did you say Yonkers, Mr. Hackl?
Cornelius: Oh yes ma'am, Yonkers! And forgive me for saying this but you should see Yonkers. By that I mean perhaps Mr. Molloy would like to see Yonkers, too!
Oh, I'm a widow, Mr. Hackl.
Cornelius: You are? ............ Mrs. Molloy, if you should ever happen to have a Sunday free in the near future, I'd be more than pleased to show you Yonkers from top to bottom!
Well as a matter of fact, Mr. Hackl, I might be there sooner than you think.
Cornelius: Oh, really?
You see. I have a friend who lives in Yonkers.
Cornelius: Do you?
Perhaps you know him...
Cornelius: Perhaps we do.
Oh, it's always foolish to ask in cases like that, isn't it? It's a Mr. Vandergelder.
Barnaby: Of Vandergelder's Hay and Feed?
Do you know him?
Barnaby & Cornelius: No! Oh, no! No, no...
Mr. Vandergelder's a substantial man and well-liked, they tell me.
Barnaby: Cornelius, I think... I think...
Now I wonder if your friend might like this one!
Cornelius: Begging your pardon, Mrs. Molloy-
Gentlemen! What are you doing?
Cornelius: Help us, Mrs. Molloy, we'll explain later!
Come out of there this minute!
Barnaby: We're as innocent as can be, Mrs. Molloy!
Well, really. Mr. Hackl! Mr. Tucker! I insist that you both come out of there or I'll be forced to... Mr. Vandergelder!
Vandergelder: Mrs. Molloy............ Did I just see you talking with two men?
Men? Men, Mr. Vandergelder? What would men be doing in a ladies hat shop? Well now, let's go back into my workroom. I'm so anxious for you to see it.
Vandergelder: I saw it last week.
So you did. Well, Mr. Vandergelder, what's new in the hay and feed business? I understand you have three friends. All hard as nails. I mean-
Vandergelder: What on Eartg are you talking about?
Yonkers. I hear it's a beautiful city.
Vandergelder: And who's been telling you about Yonkers, may I ask?
Nobody- a friend!
Vandergelder: What friend?
Well. You see, he-
A customer, Mr. Vandergelder. Someone quite well-to-do as a matter of fact. He was in here buying hats for ladies. You might even know him although it's usually silly to ask in cases like that. It's a Mr. Cornelius Hackle.
Vandergelder: Did you say Hackl?
Vandergelder: Whnat canal?
Mrs. Levi: Who took the horses out of Jenny Lind's carriage and pulled her through the streets? ............ Now Irene, don't deny it, I can see you were taken with him just like everybody else.
Dolly! What are you saying; I've only seen him once in my life! Really, Dolly, I-
Minnie: Excuse me.
Minnie, hold your tongue!
Mrs. Levi: (Sings Motherhood March)
Has this not affected you, sir? I came here at fourteen years of age as an immigrant girl from a land that oppressed my people and I must echo here what was said by that great and patriotic American... uh-
(Sings Motherhood March)
Four score and seven years ago!
Vandergelder: Mrs. Molloy-
All right, Mr. Vandergelder, there is a man in that cupboard!
And another under that table!
Vandergelder: What the devil!
There also happens to be a very simple explanation but for the present, good afternoon.
Cornelius: Mrs. Molloy, I can explain everything. You see we-
I do not wish to hear any explanations, Mr. Hackl. Just you and Mr. Tucker do me the pleasure of leaving my shop at once or I'll send for Officer Gogarty.
Barnaby & Cornelius: Dinner!
Is that absolutely necessary, Dolly!
Mrs. Levi: It's the way things are done in the law, Irene. Dinner first, garnishee afterwards.
Well if it must be. Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker, you may take Miss Fay and myself to dinner.
Cornelius: Delighted, Mrs. Molloy. I speak for Barnaby too. Now I hear there's a very nice restaurant in the railroad station-
Oh no, Mr. Hackl! If the Harmonia Gardens is good enough for your fashionable friends it's good enough for us! They say they have a lovely orchestra there, Minnie.
Mrs. Levi: (Sings Before The Parade Passes By)
Mrs. Levi, come along. Cornelius is taking us down to see the Fourteenth Street Parade. Everybody will be marching!
Mrs. Levi: Why, Irene. You're crying.
Oh, Dolly! The world is full of wonderful things! Come with us, Dolly.
Mr. Hackl, we've just loved looking at the lights of Fourteenth Street these past four hours, but now perhaps you'd better call a hack or we won't get to the Harmonia Gardens on time. Oh, there's one... yoo hoo-
Barnaby: J.P. Vanderbilt, Diamond Jim Morgan...
Then by all means a street car.
Cornelius: Of course if you really want to be elegant-
Oh, look, Minnie- they're counting their money again! Isn't that just like the rich? Well, gentleman, aren't you going to escort us in?
Cornelius: Of course we are, Mrs. Molloy! Barnaby! Uh, Mrs. Molloy...
Yes, Mr. Hackl?
Cornelius: Mrs. Molloy, as we start inside, may I-
Yes, Mr. Hackl?
Cornelius: May I put my arm around your waist?
Yes, Mr. Hackl. But I might as well warn you, a corset is a corset.
Cornelius: Are you sure? Count it again!
Prepare yourself for a big night, Minnie. We're out with two of New York's best known sports!
Cornelius: No, don't! We can't afford it!
I'm going to order everything on the menu! Waiter!
Ernestina: Yeh, two dollars. Only it's in my garter!
It's sweet of you to worry about our reputations, Cornelius, but Minnie and I don't care who sees us tonight! Well, Minnie, what have you decided?
Cornelius: Great grindstones! What a sensible girl! Waiter, bring us four glasses of beer, a loaf of yesterday's bread, and some cheese!
Yesterday's bread! On Cornelius, now I know how you keep half of New York in stitches all the time. Minnie, have you ever eaten pheasant?
Ernestina: Why didn't you say so? ............ Hey, you with the big ears... what are you doing after the show?
It's sweet of you to worry about our digestion, Cornelius, but I'm sure the pheasants are fresh. We'll take four, please, and a nice red wine.
Cornelius: Wait a minute! No wine!
Cornelius: Come along, Mrs. Molloy. It's been a perfectly wonderful evening but I'm afraid we're going to have to cut it a bit... excuse me... short!
Minnie, a polka! Cornelius, I simply must have one dance!
Barnaby: But Vandergelder is right there! We've got to go!
We will go! But we'll dance our way out!
Cornelius: No, Mr. Vandergelder! ............ I'm opening my own store.
And Cornelius has found the perfect location, Mr. Vandergelder. Right across the street from you.
Mrs. Levi: I know what you're going to say, Horace, you're not satisfied with Ernestina............ what were you doing?
Getting Cornelius' money, Dolly, one hundred and forty-six dollars...
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