all about communication - can still scold, but w/message of I still love you
-Seed of human suffering
o If there are huge parts of you that you cannot allow to live, there will also be all these things out there that you would otherwise be super intrigued/excited by, etc., but that you have ruled out of conscious interests
o Try and be interested in things that don't really interest you
-False self-concept, consciously see yourself in a false way, inconsistent w/what is true about you
· Attend to things that are consistent w/what you already think of yourself (Sullivan) - pursue & act upon things you already believe about yourself
o Conscious self-concept becomes more & more solidified
o Guides direction of your development over time - careers/marriages you choose, etc.
· Way you say things, body, etc. matters - congruency in what is said and tone of voice, etc. - needs to mean it - Things that actually engage you is every thing you're not doing - feel alienated, apathetic, depressed, disengaged, unloved, etc.
· Crucial element of treatment: provision, in treatment, of unconditional positive regard
o Therapist can communicate authentically
o Conveys having heard you, understand you, wants to hear more
o If you get communication/feeling in therapy of unconditional positive regard, no matter what you say or do, can being to break down boundaries btw your organismic experience (truth of how you are, etc.) & how you consciously see yourself
o à Increase in congruence for you, authenticity for you
· Argument that anyone can provide unconditional positive regard
o Kind of subversive claim - don't really need fancy training as therapist, etc., just need to convey unconditional positive regard