64 terms

Final CDFS 319

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John Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse; Criticism
always complaining, arguing, character attacks, "you didn't take the trash out last
night, why can't you ever remember to do it? you are so lazy!"
John Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse; Contempt
disgust and disrespect between spouse. Mental abuse
John Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse; Defensiveness
see yourself as the victim and always making excuses. Counterattack.
John Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse; Stonewall
overwhelmed by the conflict, the speaker is actively ignored, no eye contact, no back channeling, and no verbal response. Demand-withdraw pattern
What is flooding?
Overwhelmed so they get sweaty palm and nervous
(They don't want to express their emotion/ they bottled it up)
What is the concept of accepting influence?
dont have to be right
What are repair attempts?
Fix with positive than negative (apologizing, forgiveness, appropriate humor, breaks)
What characteristics does Gottman attribute to unhappy couples?
Negativity and criticism
Happy couples?
Fondness and admiration
What is the difference between solvable problems and unsolvable problems?
...
What is the most recently cited cause for divorce?
Infidelity is the most frequently cited cause of divorce and is described by couple thera- pists as among the most difficult problems to treat.
What are some of the feelings experienced by the "injured partner"?
Broken, betrayal, abandonment, angry, range, revengeful, denial, shock, refuse, rejection, embarrassment, suicidal thought,
What are some of the feelings commonly experienced by the "participating partner"?
guilt, hurt, or loneliness.
stage 1 affair-specific intervention?
Dealing with the initial impact.
stage 2 affair-specific intervention?
Exploring context and finding meaning.
stage 3 affair-specific intervention?
Moving on.
Who said: "To err is human; to forgive divine"?
Alexander Pope
What is forgiveness?
is a response to unfairness of resentment or anger toward an offender and the restoration of more positive feelings, thoughts, and behaviors toward that person
Matthew 18: 21-22
''Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times'''
Exodus 34: 6-7?
and says that God's quality of forgiveness is five hundred fold that of His wrath
Who said: "the moment you forgive you have reclaimed your power from the mind"?
Eckhart Tollee
According to researchers what happens to us physiologically when we don't forgive?
High blood pressure, migrant, backpain, (not forgiving is a stressor).
According to the authors activating the what
is the optimal state for healing the wounds of forgiveness.
parasympathetic nervous system
What does "third eye" refer to?
Self enlightenment, reflection, meditate.
What is Ubuntu?
Southern African philosophy: interconnectedness "I am what I am because of who we all are"
Worthington created the acronym REACH to describe forgiveness: R
ecall the hurt
Worthington created the acronym REACH to describe forgiveness: E
mpathize with the perpetrator
Worthington created the acronym REACH to describe forgiveness: A
ltruistic gift of forgiveness
Worthington created the acronym REACH to describe forgiveness: C
Public commit to forgiveness
Worthington created the acronym REACH to describe forgiveness: H
old onto forgiveness
four D's of reconciliation: 1
Decide whether to reconcile
four D's of reconciliation: 2
Discuss reconciliation
four D's of reconciliation: 3
Detoxify the relationship
four D's of reconciliation: 4
Devotion to each other
According to Worthington what is the cornerstone of forgiveness and reconciliation?
Empathy
Are men or women more involved in preventive health care?
Women; Men are 20% likely to go to the doctor.
Which minority groups in particular are less likely to have regular physical check-ups and carry health insurance?
Men, 80% because of social.
Which of the top 10 leading causes of death significantly affect men more than women?
Heart disease, accidents and adverse events, chronic liver disease and cirrhosis, suicide
In which category was the greatest ratio disparity between genders?
Suicide
What are some of the surprising statistics given by the author regarding depression and suicide in both men and women? Why is this?
Women is twice as much to despression
What does "acting out" look like for men?
Gamble, womanizing, drug use, workaholism, depression
2nd divorce rate
60%
Highest Divorce in America
Nevada
Highest Divorce in the World
Belgium
3rd divorce rate
70%
Which gender marry early ?
Men
What two occurrences in our recent history has augmented our recognition for the importance of dealing with death and loss?
9/11 and HIV
Describe other losses that we encounter in our lifetime besides death.
Home, Job, Trust, Relationship, Hopes & Dream
a family systems psychotherapist, wrote a paper on loss and talked about death as the most taboo subject (People don't like to talk about it) for people.
Murray Bowen
What did he feel was important for a therapist to observe and assess in the family in order for healing to occur?
It is good to talk about it. To unblock grief, he thought of Triggers stimuli. DO NOT BLOCK GRIEF.
Sudden
Shock, because it was unexpected
lingering death
It's difficult and exhausting
Violent death
Murder by people you know
Suicide
Most used is Firearm, #2 is Hanging,
Where do beliefs about death come from?
Religion
How was Mothers Against Drunk Drivers started?
Candy Lightner
Most suicide rate
Native American
High suicide age
15-24
Right to die
Brittney Mayward
Elizabeth Rubler Ross Knowing the stages on greif: 1
Denial
Elizabeth Rubler Ross Knowing the stages on greif: 2
Anger
Elizabeth Rubler Ross Knowing the stages on greif: 3
Bargaining
Elizabeth Rubler Ross Knowing the stages on greif: 4
Depression
Elizabeth Rubler Ross Knowing the stages on greif: 5
Acceptance