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Self-disclosure can be an apology or forgiveness
Self-disclosure can be an apology or forgiveness
Benefits of Self-Disclosure
1 Increased accuracy in communication
2 Reduction of stress
3 Increased self-awareness
4 Stronger relationships
5 Increased authenticity
Increased Accuracy in Communication
- People cannot read minds
- Takes the guess work out of the process
- Reporting both facts and feelings improves accuracy
Reduction of Stress
- Emphasis on privacy and concealment of feelings creates stress
- Sharing inner thoughts and feelings usually reduces stress
- Stress symptoms can include
- high blood pressure
- perspiration
- decline in immunization
- rapid breathing
Increased Self-awareness
- The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, drives and their effect on others
- The foundation on which self-development is built
- Increases as you receive feedback from others
Stronger Relationships
- When two people engage in an open dialogue, they often develop a high regard for each other's views
- Enhances awareness of common interests and concerns
Increased authenticity
- Authenticity is necessary for close relationships because intimacy cannot develop without openness and honesty
- People trust you when you are real
The Johari Window: A Model for Self-Understanding
Open - you and others know
Blind - only others know about you
Hidden - only you know about yourself
Unknown - nobody knows
Open Area
- Represents the "public" or "awareness" area and contains information that both you and others know
- Information that you do not mind admitting
- A productive relationship is related to the amount of mutually held information
- Building a relationship involves expanding this area
Blind Area
- Information about yourself that others know but you are not yet aware of
- Others may see you differently than you see yourself
- Effective relations strive to reduce this area
- Open communication encourages people to give you feedback
Hidden Area
- Information that you know that others do not
- Private feelings, needs, and past experiences that you prefer to keep to yourself
- If this area is too large, you can be perceived as lacking authenticity
Unknown Area
- Information that is unknown to you and to others
- Areas of unrecognized talent, motives, or early childhood memories that influence your behavior
- Always present, never disappears
- Open communication can expose some of this area
Johari Window
- The four panes are interrelated
- Changes to one pane impact the size of the others
- As relationships develop, the open area should grow
Self-Disclosure/Feedback Styles
- Two communication processes within our control that impact relationships 1,2
1 Self-disclosure of ideas and feelings
2 Seeking feedback from others
Self-Disclosure/Feedback Styles
Characteristics of using both effectively:
1 Candor
2 Openness
3 Mutual respect
What is 360-Degree Feedback
1 Evaluations by boss, peers, subordinates, and sometimes customers, clients or patients

- Usually anonymous and often provides valuable insights
- Involves risk if not done correctly
- Ideally should include summary report and plan for growth
What is Appropriate Self-Disclosure
1 自分の見せ方

- Information should be disclosed in constructive ways
- Anyone can learn this skill
- Often means changing attitudes and behaviors
- Questions about disclosing information:
- How much and how intimate?
- With whom?
- Under what conditions?
Self-disclosure can be an excellent way to repair damaged relationships true or false
- Many work relationships are unnecessarily strained
- People refuse to talk about real or imagined problems
What is The Art of Apologizing
- A sincere apology has healing power
- Apologize if actions caused hurt feelings, anger, or deep-seated ill will
- Apologize in private so that feelings can be exchanged in relative comfort
Apologize completely—should include:
1 Regret
2 Responsibility
3 Remedy 改善
What is The Art of Forgiveness
- Be quick to forgive!
- It is never easy, but it is the only way to avoid blame and bitterness
- To forgive means to give up resentment and anger
- Forgiveness heals, and liberates energy and creativity
What is Constructive Criticism
- Self-disclosure that helps another person look at their own behavior without getting defensive
- Not the same as blaming
- Skill that can be learned
- Replace "You" statements with "I"
- Request changes "in the future" instead of pointing out something negative in the present
What is Disturbing Situations
- Share reactions to work-related problems as soon as possible after the incident
- Not easy to recapture the feelings
- Distortion of the incident if too much time passes
- Holding things in impacts:
- Mental and physical health
- Job performance
What is Describe Accurately
- Sharing feelings involves risk
- You are trusting the other person not to ridicule or embarrass you
- Emotions in the work setting sometimes viewed as inappropriate yet, emotions are an integral part of human behavior
- Ensure the other person knows that your feelings are capable of change
What is The Right Time and Place
- What you say may be fine, the when and where may be the problem
- Select a time when the other person will not be preoccupied and will give full attention
- Select a place free from distractions such as telephone calls or visitors
- Make an appointment, if necessary
What is Avoid Overwhelming Others
- Be open, but do not go too far too fast
- Relationships are built slowly
- Abrupt disclosure of emotional or intimate information may distance you from others
- Balance between openness and protection of each other's feelings
Buddha recommended asking yourself three questions before speaking:
1 Is the statement true?
2 Is the statement necessary?
3 Is the statement kind?

- If the statement falls short on any one, Buddha advised that we say nothing
Several barriers prevent self-disclosure
Lack of Trust :
1 Trust exists when you fully believe in the integrity and character of the other person or organization
2 Trust--complex emotion that combines caring, competency and commitment
3 Distrust--the most common and the most serious barrier to self-disclosure
4 Build trust by being trustworthy all the time
Trust is a complex emotion that combines three components 1,2,3
1 Caring
2 Competency
3 commitment