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PSYC 150 Test 2

Terms in this set (14)

I. During times of stress:
A. Ambivalent Relationship Style (High Anxiety)
1. Feel rage at God but are consumed by self-incrimination and excessive self-blame.
2. Turn away from God and turn to success and any or all relationships
3. Intensely seek intimacy. In doing so, they believe they can avoid separation from others and even death.
B. Avoidant Relationship Style (High Avoidant)
1. Move away from God and cling to possessions, success, or their addictions.
2. Self medicate their pain by pursuing sinful habits.
3. A common response, "Just as I expected, God can't be trusted".
4. Avoids intimacy and dampens emotions in personal relationships. Closeness brings fear of rejection...cannot measure to the standard.
C. Disorganized Relationship Style (High Anxiety/Avoidant)
1. Life crises are just a continuation of their life story of loss.
2. Believe God is malicious like their early caregivers were.
3. Individuals can use both avoidant and ambivalent responses. They often go numb, feeling as if the world around them is not real.
4. I cannot trust others and I cannot trust myself...therefore, I cannot trust God.
D. The Secure Relationship Style
The secure person:
1. Can feel devastated, angry and sad.
2. Can struggle with survivor's guilt.
3. Can spend hours praying to God asking the question "why"?
4. Can feel vulnerable, lonely and afraid.
5. Cry out to God and run to His open arms.
6. Due to experiencing God's secure base, they are able to look at their tragedy differently.
7. Can face their pain and grow with it.
8. Can see God's hand working things for good, although they are forever affected by the tragedy.
9. Understand that although their pain may never be gone, they can always press closer to God.
10. Can consciously and courageously invest in close relationships, but holds on to them loosely. They understand that the relationship will end.
A. No Pain, No Gain
1. Disciplines may produce uncomfortable feelings like anxiety or intrusive memories about past trauma.
2. But sometimes turmoil is necessary.
3. Because pain is often involved, practicing disciplines requires courage and the willingness to endure the necessary cost to achieve something greater.
B. Searching the Scripture
1. Steeping ourselves in Scripture prepares us for everything life can throw at us.
2. Psalm 119:105, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
C. Solitude
1. Quiet time with you and God
2. Involves a retreat away from the distractions and normal routines of life.
3. This is powerful for those with ambivalent and disorganized relationship styles.
D. Silence
1. This is the essential ingredient of solitude.
2. Silent touches can bring freedom from the fear of abandonment.
3. It also helps people who need frequent praise and adoration from others to find peace in silence.
E. Simplicity (Mindfulness)
1. This stops us from complicating our lives with our pace and possessions.
2. Simplicity's goal is to help us seek God first.
3. It allows us to see how blind we are to the strength and control that material possessions have over us.
4. It slows us down.
F. Secrecy
1. Keeping successes, accomplishments, and good qualities secret.
2. This goal helps us to focus on God, not adoration of people.
G. Simple Prayer
1. 1 Thessalonians 5:17, "pray continuously"
2. We are always looking for God's presence, His comfort, and His security.
3. Prayer connects us with God the same way crying connects babies and mothers.
H. Meditation (Silence)
1. Learning to listen to God, to discern that still, small voice that directs and comforts our souls.
2. This should be practiced with prayer. Praying first then listening. "Be still and know that I am God".