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SHREK the Musical FIONA Lines
Terms in this set (79)
(Fiona's tower. Like every day, FIONA's in the midst of singing her song of hope, though this time with a tambourine...)
(singing) I KNOW IT'S TODAY... OO-OO-OO-OO
Are you princess Fiona?
I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
Ah, that's nice. Now let's go.
But wait, Sir Knight! I have long awaited this day! And I would'st first like to knowest the name of my champion.
I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
Thanks. All right, let's go.
Now holdest on, Sir Knight. Don't you want to savor this moment? It be-eth our first meeting. It must be a wonderful and romantic scene.
Aw geez, I'm like a crackpot magnet. (The DRAGON roars offstage)
You didn't slay the dragon?
And the chandelier fell right on the dragon and that's how we escaped the fire breathing dragon! Who the man? Who the man? Shrek the man!
You did it! You-did-it-you-did-it-you-did-it. You're, amazing, you're wonderful, you're... a little unorthodox I'll admit - but thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
Alright! I hope you heard that. She called me a "noble steed!" She thinks I'm a steed.
Well, Sir Shrek, the battle is won. You may remove your helmet.
I... I have helmet hair.
Please, I wouldest look upon the face of my rescuer.
Oh no, you wouldn't... est.
But - how will you kiss me?
Maybe it's a perk.
No - it's destiny. "A princess is rescued by a brave knight and then they share true love's first kiss."
With Shrek?! You think that Shrek is your true love? 😂
What's so funny?
Well, let's just say I'm not your type, okay?
Of course you are. You're my rescuer! Now, remove your helmet.
Look, I really don't think that's a good idea.
Just take off the helmet.
I'm not going to.
Take it off!
Okay! Easy. As you command, your Highness...
You're... an ogre?
Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?
Well... yes actually. Oh no! I'm supposed to be rescued by my true love! Not by some ogre and his... pet.
Well, so much for noble steed.
You're not supposed to be an ogre.
Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you.
Oh. Then why didn't he come rescue me?
Good question. You should ask him that when we get there, tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Oh my gosh, it's almost sunset!
I didn't realize it was so late. We need to make camp.
Camp? But you're just escaped!
Yes, and I found the whole ordeal quite exhausting. I need to rest immediately.
That's unfortunate, because we're gonna keep going.
I NEED TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO CAMP RIGHT NOW!
Shrek! That's no place for a princess.
No, no it's perfect. Well gentlemen, I bid thee good night!
You want me to read you a bedtime story? Cause I will.
I said good night.
Good morning, men!
You're awful chipper.
And why shouldn't I be? It's a new day full of promise and fresh starts!
Yes. And the first thing I'd like to do is apologize for my behavior yesterday. We obviously got off on the wrong foot, and I'd like to make it up to you.
Yes. You did rescue me after all. So, I've gathered a basket of berries for the trip, and I made you each a daisy chain! We've got a long journey ahead of us. To Duloc!
A road trip! Yes! Punch buggy!
Ow! So tell me about my groom-to-be, Lord Farquaad. What's he like?
Well, let me put it this way, Princess - men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply.
Oh yeah, but he is a little intimidating.
Well he must be!
And yet very good at small talk.
What are you doing?
What? Just saying ya might wanna lower your expectations a bit. Yeah, like three feet or so.
Alright, yuck it up. Doesn't bother me. Not today. After a lifetime of misery, things are finally going my way.
I'm sure it was very difficult living in a dragon guarded tower.
It must've been nice to have a roof and a cozy bed. Which is more than I had when I left home.
You're not actually comparing yourself to what I endured?
I'm just saying you don't corner the market on unhappy childhoods.
There are things you don't know, ya know. About me. About how rough I had it!
What, ya run out of shampoo a couple of times?
I mean about my life!
In that cushy tower of yours?
Cushy! Are you kidding?
Well, here we are... Duloc!
I didn't realize we were so close. Maybe Duloc could wait until morning.
Why not? I've spent my whole
Life without true love. What's one more night?
Here we go.
Oh, sorry, I just got caught up in the magic of the night! The fireflies, that beautiful sunset...
Sunset?! Oh my gosh! Sunset! Oh no!! I mean... it's late. It's very late.
I'm sorry, but I have to go.
Shrek? Princess? Princess Fiona? It's very spooky in here, I ain't playing no games...
Ahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhh! No! No! It's okay! Shhh! Donkey, it's okay!
Princess...? What happened to you?
"By day one way, by night another - this shall be the norm, until you find true loves first kiss, and then take love's true form."
That's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
It's a curse. I've had it since I was a girl.
A witch cast a spell on me. So now every night; when the sun goes down I become this... this horrible ugly beast!
Wait a second, this is perfect!
Perfect?! Donkey, if Lord Farquaad finds out I look like this, he'll never marry me!
So, I have to kiss my true love! The kiss is the only thing that will break the spell and make me beautiful.
But you know... umm, you're kind of an ogre, and Shrek... well, you've got a lot in common.
Yeah, if he knew all this, I think maybe --
No, he can't know! And you can't tell him! Not a word! No one must ever know! Promise you won't tell. Promise!
All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. Man, I know when this is all over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.
I can't think about Shrek. Not now. I'm a princess after all, and look at me! I mean really... who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my one true love.
(SHREK approaches, upset. FIONA runs to him, happy.)
Shrek!... Thank goodness! There's something I have to tell you...
You don't have to tell me anything. I heard enough last night.
Oh. You... Heard what I said?
Every word. Especially, "who could love such a hideous, ugly beast?!?
But... I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
Cleared off, as agreed. And the deed has been put in your name. Now step away before I change my mind. (FIONA and SHREK exchange a look. SHREK snatches the deed and turns his back) Forgive me, princess, for startling you. I am Lord Farquaad.
Lord Farquaad. Forgive me, for I was just saying a short... farewell.
Oh, that is so sweet, but you don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. It's not like it has feelings.
No, you're right, "it" doesn't.
Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona... I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
Lord Farquaad... I accept. Nothing would make me--
Excellent! I'll start the plans... for tomorrow, we wed!
No! (SHREK spins around, hopeful.) I mean, ah, why wait? Let's get married today. Before sunset. (SHREK scowls and turns away)
Oh man, there's nothing like a good night's sleep. (finishes stretch) What did I miss?
Fare thee well, Ogre.
People of Duloc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union of our new King and Queen--
Um...Excuse me...ah...Could we just skip to the "I do's?"
And do you, Princess Fio--
Stop the wedding!
Fiona - I need to talk to you.
Oh, now you want to talk? Well it's a little late for that. So if you'll excuse me--
But you can't marry him!
And why not?
Guards, take this abomination out of my sight!
No! Uhh... I mean... let's hear what the monster has to say. It might be worth a laugh.
Boooooooooooooooooooo! (turns to FIONA) Are we ready, darling?
I can't. (FIONA rushes off.)
I'm a king! I'm a big man! A big tall giant man with a kingdom! Not-a-freak! Not a freak! I have a castle!
(enters with a lantern, which illuminates her face) Stop the wedding!
I wanted to show you before.
I love you, baby! (to the dragon)
(to SHREK) You were saying?
I'm your true love, Fiona.
Yeah I know, and I'm yours. (kiss)
Fiona... are you alright?
Well, yes... but... I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
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