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occurs when two or three people exchange messages- whether face-to-face, over the phone, through apartment walls, or over internet


Opening, Feedforward (general idea), Business (substance), Feedback (reflection), Closing

Process of Conversation

the roles of the speaker and listener are exchanged throughout the interaction, accomplish this exchange by using a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues

Conversational management

the changing or maintaining of the speaker or listener role during the conversation

Conversational turns

enable a person to maintain the role of speaker and can take a variety of forms

Turn-Maintaining Cues

tells the listener that the speaker is finished and wishes to exchange the role of speaker for the role of listener

Turn-Yielding Cues

let the speaker know that you would like to say something and take a turn as speaker

Turn-Requesting Cues

indicate your reluctance to assume the role of speaker

Turn-Denying Cues

communicate various types of information back to the speaker without assuming the role of speaker (smile, frown, nod, attentiveness)

Back channeling cues

disclaimer-aims to ensure that your message will be understood and not reflect negatively on you

excuse-pervades all forms of communication and behavior, explanation of actions

Conversational Problem strategies

more than simple conversation, each person is both speaker and listener, there is concern for the other person and the relationship. Objective=mutual understanding, supportiveness, and empathy


communication in which one person speaks and the other listens- there's no real interaction between the participants, no concern for listener's feelings or attitudes


state of awareness in which you're conscious of your reasons for thinking or behaving. Opposite=mindlessness


the abilty to adjust communication strategies on the basis of the unique situation


has to do with your willingness to self-disclose, provided that such disclosure is appropiate


a quality of interpersonal effectiveness that creates a sense of togetherness, of oneness between speaker and listener, you show interest and attention


the techniques and strategies by which you regulate and carry on an interpersonal interaction

Interaction management skills

the skill of communicating genuine involvement; it includes abilities such as taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings; encouraging expressiveness or openness in others, and providing appropiate feedback


the ability to adapt your messages to the other person, involved communicating attentiveness and interest in the other person and in what the other person says


the actions of one person have an impact on the other


you see what the person looks like, hear what they sound like, etc. Perceptual contact, you get a physical picture

Contact Stage

a sense of mutuality, of being connected develops, testing what the other person is like, intensify interaction, self-disclose and do things together

Involvement Stage

open and honest, express feelings and thoughts, interpersonal commitment, social bonding
affiliative cues=signs that show you love the other person
Duchenne smiles=beyond voluntary control and that signal genuine joy

Intimacy Stage

stage that sees the weakening of bonds between the parties and that represents the downside of the relationship progression
Intrapersonal dissatisfaction (self)
Interpersonal dissatisfaction (discuss with your partner)

Relationship Deterioration

Intrapersonal repair- you analyze what went wrong and consider ways of solving
Interpersonal repair-talk about problems
R-recognize the problem
P-pose possible solutions
A-affirm each other
I-integrate solutions into your life
R-risk giving favors without any certainty of reciprocity

Relationship Repair

Interpersonal separation, social/public separation

Dissolution Stage

holds that people form relationships on the basis of attraction
often similar to each other or complementary, also proximity factored in, attracted to ppl who give you reinforcements

Attraction Theory

relationships are held together by adherence to certain rules

Rules Theory

argues that ppl in a relationship experience dynamic tensions between pairs of opposing motives or desires (closedness v. openness, autonomy v. connection, novelty v. predictability)

Relationship dialectics theory

theory of what happens when relationships develop; describes in terms of the number of topics that ppl talk about and their degree of "personalness" (breadth or # and depth or degree)

Social penetration theory

claims that you develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits, you have in mind a comparison model

Social Exchange Theory

claims that you develop and maintain relationships in which the ratio of your rewards relative to your costs is approxiamately equal to your partner's

Equity theory

interpersonal relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard


the ideal type characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity, based on equality

Friendship of reciprocity

imbalance in giving and receiving, one person is the primary giver and one is the primary receiver, difference in status ex. teacher/student

Friendship of receptivity

friendly relationship, rather than true friendship ex. classmate, neighbor, coworker

Friendship of association

clear sense of "we-ness", of togetherness; communication demonstrates a sense of intimacy (casual friendship)

Dyadic consciousness

relationship between two ppl, they begin to share their network of other communicators with each other

Network convergence

beauty and sexuality, erotic love


entertainment and excitement, not taken seriously, all about fun


peaceful and slow, lacks passion and intensity, companions


practical and traditional, family and background is important


elation and depression, extreme highs and extreme lows


compassionate and selfless, spiritual love, love without expecting reciprocation, loves even strangers


see themselves as blending of two persons in single couple, interdependent, mutual sharing, traditional sex roles

Traditional couple

stress their individuality, spends time with outside friends, engage in conflict openly

Independent couple

live together, but view relationship more as matter of convenience than a result of mutual love or closeness

Separate couple

relationship between two ppl that the partners see as their most important interpersonal relationship

Primary relationship

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