Attention is the process of noticing or becoming aware of particular stimuli. Because of perceptual filters, we attend to some stimuli and not others.
Organization is the process of incorporating new information (from the stimuli that you notice) into your existing knowledge. Because of perceptual filters, we are more likely to incorporate new knowledge that is consistent with what we already know or believe
Interpretation is the process of attaching meaning to new knowledge. Because of perceptual filters, our preferences and beliefs strongly influence the meaning we attach to new information (e.g., "This must mean that top management supports our project.").
Finally, retention is the process of remembering interpreted information. In other words, retention is what we recall and commit to memory after we have perceived something. Of course, perceptual filters also affect retention, that is, what we're likely to remember in the end.
1. Selective Perception 2. Closure
notice and accept stimuli which are consistent with our values and beliefs
ignore inconsistent stimuli
tendency to fill in the gaps when information is missing
we assume that what we don't know is consistent with what we do know
Interpersonal Communication Process
Sender: Message to be conveyed, encode message, transmit, communication channel, receive message, decode message, message that was understood, feedback to sender
Show your desire to understand listen first talk about what's important to the other
Reflect feelings focus on the emotional part of the message more than just restating words
What are the elements that make a crucial conversation?
1. Stakes are high 2. opinions vary 3. emotions start to run strong
How do we typically handle crucial conversations?
-We can avoid them -We can face them and handle them poorly -We can face them and handle them well -What would you do?
Pool of Shared Meaning
-When people openly and freely share ideas -We have to develop the tools that make it safe for us to discuss these issues -Mutual Purpose -Mutual Respect
Start with The Heart
Refuse the Sucker's Choice: -As you consider what you want, notice when you start talking yourself into a "Sucker's Choice" (the "or") -Avoid choosing between winning and loosing -Break free of the Sucker's Choice by searching for the "and" -What do you want for yourself? For others? For the relationship?
3 common forms of silence
1/ masking 2. avoiding 3. withdrawing
When you've made a mistake that has hurt others a contrasting statement fixes misunderstanding to make the conversation safe
-start with an apology -don't/do statement Addresses other's concerns that you don't respect them or that you have a malicious purpose
Confirms your respect or clarifies your real purpose