"Just Listen" by Mark Goulston
Terms in this set (18)
"What's one thing that would be impossible to do, but if you could do it, would dramatically increase your success?"
Just Listen: The Impossibility Question
Just Listen: The Magic Paradox for difficult people
"I'll bet you feel that nobody understands what it's like..." [empathize, make them think you DO understand]
Just Listen: The Empathy Jolt for third party resolving conflict
"Kim, if I were to ask Simon what frustrates him most about working with you, what would he say?"
Just Listen: "Reverse Play" for difficult people
Ask to meet the difficult person, but use the meeting to apologize instead of to critique.
Just Listen: Reacting to exaggeration
Very calmly say, "Do you REALLY believe that?"
Just Listent: React to bullying/aggression/accusation in the moment
Say "...Hmmmm..." in a "Tell me more" tone
Just Listen: The Stipulation Gambit
Confidently acknowledge the elephant-in-the-room misgivings someone probably has about you right at the beginning of the interaction.
Just Listen: Transformational Questions
Ask big-picture who/what/how questions that make the other person access some sort of ultimate meaning (reacting with "that's a very good question"). For example, "At this time next year, how would you like your life to look?"
Just Listen: Getting someone to feel on a team with you
"Join the person in an activity, then ask an opinion question such as ""so what do you think about this material?"" or ""tell me, what would you like to see from ...?"""
Just Listen: Build rapport with a potential client
You're thinking of buying our product, or something like it, because you'd like to...
"Just Listen: Responding to "no" in a sale"
Take a breath and say, "I'm very grateful for the time you've given me. Could I ask you just one thing? ...I'm just wondering if you could tell me: The issue that I failed to address was..."
Just Listen: Power Thank You
(1) Thank the person for something specific they did. (2) Acknowledge the effort it took for them to do it, e.g. "I know you didn't have to do..." (3) Tell the person the difference that this personally made to you.
Just Listen: Power Apology
(R1) Remorse: "I know I made you look/feel..." (R2) Restitution: "I'm going to go to each person this affected...." (R3) Rehabilitation: "In the future, I'm going to avoid..." (R4) Request forgiveness: [possibly later] "Are you able to forgive me for hurting you?"
Just Listen: Topics Related to Sales
"the stipulation gambit", "FITB rapport with prospective clients", and "responding to no"
Just Listen: Dealing with difficult people
the magic paradox, the reverse play, "hmm", "do you REALLY believe that?"
Just Listen: Topics for building rapport
the impossibility question; transformational questions; side by side opinion questions; FITB questions
The Three-Part Brain
Brain stem and cerebellum; limbic system (incl. amygdala and hippocampus); neocortex
The shutting down of the frontal cortex by the amygdala during a moment of danger or stress (a term coined in Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence; the amygdala regulates the fight or flight response)
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