The Cripple of Inishmaan
Terms in this set (37)
Doctor: Have you been laying of the drink, Mrs. O'Dougal, I said?
(Burps.) have been laying off the drink or I've sort of been laying off the drink.
Johnny: She has a pint of porter now and then is no harm at all.
Is no harm at all.
Doctor: So long as you keep it at a pint of porter is the main thing so.
It is the main thing, and a couple of whiskies now and then.
Johnny: Once in a blue moon.
Once in a blue moon, and at breakfast sometimes.
Johnny: Ah she likes it, and doesn't it shut her up?
I do like a drop of whiskey, me, I do.
Johnny: From the horse's mouth.
Although I do prefer poteen
Doctor: But you don't get given poteen?
I don't get given poteen, no.
Only on special occasions.
Doctor: And what qualifies as a special occasion?
A Friday, a Saturday, or a Sunday.
Doctor: A fine thing that is for a fella to say in front of his mammy.
Mammy: I've heard worse.
Doctor: Why do you want to drink yourself dead , Mrs. O'Dougal?
I do miss me husband Donal. Ate be a shark.
Doctor: Oh you should be trying to get over that now, Mrs. O'Dougal.
I've tried to, Doctor, but I can't. A lovely man he was. And living with this goose all these years, it just brings it back to me.
Johnny: Who are you calling a goose, ya hairy-lipped fool? Didn't I go out of me way to bring Doctor McSharry home to ya?
Aye, but only to go nosing about Cripple Billy Claven is all.
Johnny: No, not... not... Ah you always go spilling the beans, you, ya lump.
I'm an honest woman, me Johnnypateen.
Johnny: Honest me hairy hole.
And you didn't get me drunk enough.
Johnny: Didn't that get him running back quick.
Like a cat with a worm up his arse.
Johnny: I suppose they must've been given unreliable information some along the way, so.
Aye, be this goose
Johnny: Don't you be calling me goose, I said.
Get me a drink, goose.
Johnny: If you retract goose I'll get you a dr...
I retract goose .
Johnny: Cancer! Cancer! Come back you! Would it be cancer? Tell me what it begins with. Is it a 'C'? Is it a 'P'?
You're talking to thin air, ya fool.
Johnny: I'll get to the bottom of it one way or the other McSharry! Be hook or be crook! A good newsman never takes no for an answer!
No. You just take stones pegged at your head for an answer.
Johnny: Let the stone matter drop, I've told you twenty times, or I'll kick your black arse to Antrim for you.
You and your shitey-arsed news.
Johnny: My news isn't shitey-arsed. My news is great news. Did you hear Jack Ellery's goose and Pat Brennan's cat have both been missing a week? I suspect somethings awful's happened to them, or I hope something awful's what happened to them.
Even though you're me own son I'll say it, Johnnypateen, you're the most boring oul fecker in Ireland. And there's plenty of competition for that fecking post!
Johnny: There's a sheep here in Kerry with no ears, I'll have to make a note.
Give me the bottle if you're going bringing up sheep deformities.
Johnny: Sheep deformities is interesting news. Is the best kind of news. Excluding major illnesses anyways.
And I want to see half that bottle gone be tea time.
Poor Cripple Billy. The life that child's had. With that mam and dad of his, and that sackful of stones of theirs...
Johnny: Shut up about the sackful of stones
And now this. Although look at the life I've had too. First poor Donal bit in two, then you going thieving the hundred- pound floorboard money he'd worked all his life to save and only to piss it away in pubs. Then the beetroot fecking paella you go making every Tuesday on top of it.
Johnny: There's nothing the matter with beetroot paella, and hasn't half of that hundred pounds been poured down your dribbling gob the past sixty years, ya bollocks?
Poor Billy. It's too many of the coffins of gasurs I've seen laid in the ground in me time.
Johnny: Drink up, so. You may save yourself the trouble this time.
Ah, I'm holding out to see you in your coffin first, Johnnypat. Wouldn't that be a happy day?
Johnny: Isn't that funny, because I'd enjoy seeing you in your coffin the same as ya, if we can find a coffin big enough to squeeze your fat arse into. Course we may have to saw half the blubber off you, oh there's not even a question.
Oh you've upset me awful with them harsh remarks, Johnnypateen, oh aye.
ya fecking eejit
Anything decent in the paper, read it out to me. But no sheep news.
Johnny: There's a fella here, riz to power in Germany, has an awful funny mustache on him.
Let me see his funny mustache.
That's a funny mustache.
Johnny: There's a fella here, riz to power in Germany, has an awful funny mustache or else shave that poor biteen of a straggle off.
That fella seems to be caught in two minds.
Johnny: Ah he seems a nice enough fella, despite his funny mustache. Good luck to him.
There's a German fella living out in Connemara now, d'you know? Out Leenane way.
Ireland mustn't be such a bad place if German fellas want to come to Ireland.
Johnny: They all wang to come to Ireland, sure. Germans, dentist, everybody.
And why, I wonder?
Johnny: Because in Ireland the people are more friendly.
They are, I suppose.
START OF SCENE
What's this that's happening?
Bartley: Aren't they going catching a shark, Mrs., and a big shark?
Johnny: Shut up and drink, you.
I will, goosey.
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