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HDFS 201 Exam #3 Study Guide

Terms in this set (107)

1. delaying of first marriages until an older age (education/career)
2. Increase in the # of people who divorce and do not remarry
3. rising # of couples choosing cohabitation over marriage
what are 3 of the causes of the decline in marriage?
1. healthier lifestyle
2. longer life
3. more satisfying sexual relationships
4. more wealth and economic assets
what are benefits of marriage?
1. both are independent and mature
2. both love not only each other but also themselves
3. both enjoy being alone as well as together
4. both are established in their work or occupation
5. both know themselves
6. both express themselves assertively
7. both are friends as well as lovers (law of enlightened self-interest)
waht are components of a successful marriage?
law of enlightened self-interest
when people focus on their partner's needs, they find that the loved one tends to focus on their needs
assertiveness
expressing oneself in a direct and generally positive manner
Gottman Institute
strong marriages are built on ordinary day-to-day moments such as responding to your partner's bids
premarital programs
what did a rising interest in preparing for marriage lead to?
1. few are initiated by the clergy
2. small-group couples' workshops or retreats
3. premarital inventory with feedback sessions
4. components of effective education include communication and problem-solving skills
what are some characteristics of premarital programs?
vitalized couples
have strengths in communication, conflict resolution, sexual relationship, and finances
harmonious couples
couples are satisifed with their ability to resolve conflicts and their role relationship
conventional couples
have strengths in spiritual beliefs, having traditional roles, and a network of supportive family and friends
conflicted couples
have few strengths and multiple areas where they needed growth (communication and conflict resoltion)
devitalized couples
have sought marital therapy or marriage enrichment
1. getting too busy for marriage
2. getting used to the mate
3. television and other media
4. no dating, especially after having children
5. not knowing other couples' strategies for maintaing vibrant marriages
6. difference between spouses in their work orientation toward marriage
why do marriages fall apart?
1. couples should remind themselves that marriage is the foundation of their family and their childrens security
2. couples should remember to fight for the needs of their marriage
3. time should be spent together as a family and as a couple
4. couples should make time for dates and not let obligations distract them from their relationship
5. couples should seek professional help if their marriage is floundering
how can couples keep marriage a top priority?
"Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?"

"It is better to be wise than right."
What is Perel's idea on bickering?
"Things presented as "facts" are actually an intensification of someone's experience. I feel like you never show up versus you never show up"

"It is the truth of your experience, but not necessarily the truth of what happens"
What is Perel's idea on confirmation bias?
1. contributes to marital satisfaction when it becomes a part of conflict
2. reconciliation allows a couple to move on to a more positive place in their relationship
3. helps move on from a conlfict without having resentments that spill over into future conflicts
what is the role of forgiveness of marriage?
-apologizing/forgiving
-being able to get "back on track"
what does making amends/repairing relationships look like?
1. secure
2. anxious-avoidant
3. anxious-resistant or ambivalent
4. disorganized
what are the types of attachment categories?
1. explores freely when mom is present
2. engages with strangers
3. upset when mom departs
4. happy when she returns
what is the infant/toddler reaction to secure attachment?
egaged, needs are met, clear contingencies
what are the parenting characteristics of secure attachment?
1. some exploration, but does not care about strangers
2. distressed when mom departs
3. avoids mom upon return
what are the infant/toddler reactions to anxious-avoidant attachment?
consistently disengaged, needs are not met
what are parenting characteristics of anxious-avoidant attachment?
1. anxious about exploration and strangers
2. distressed when mom departs
3. ambivalent toward mom upon return
what are infant/toddler reactions to ambivalent attachment?
engaged, but on mom's terms (inconsistent), needs are sometimes met
what are the parenting characteristics of ambivalent attachment?
ambivalent
wants to be close, but is resentful
1. erratic
2. unpredictable
what are infant/toddler reactions to disorganized attachment?
erratic, unpredictable
what are parenting characteristics of disorganized attachment?
attachment
focuses on how children develop attachment to caregivers in infancy
1. parents
2. peers
3. close friends
4. romantic partners
5. spouse
what is the order of attachment in a person's life?
commitment
cognitive attachment to another person that develops over time
intimacy
sharing feelings and providing emotional support
passion
linked to physiological arousal
1. non-love
2. liking
3. infatuation
4. empty love
5. romantic love
6. fatuous love
7. companionate love
8. consummate love
what are the 8 types of love?
non-love
no commitment, intimacy, or passion
liking
only intimacy
infatuation
only passion
empty love
only commitment
romantic love
intimacy and passion
fautous love
commitment and passion
companionate love
commitment and intimacy
consummate love
commitment, intimacy, and passion
1. women usually increase intimacy with higher levels of self-disclosure about themselves
2. men usually increase intimacy through doing activities together
What facts about difference in perspective about intimacy?
1. open communication in appropriate doses, at appropriate times, with good intentions
2. finding a productive way of resolving differences
3. negotiating a workable compromise
what are relationships enhanced by?
intimate experience
feeling of closeness or sharing with another person (may/not be perceived similarly)
intimate relationships
sharing intimate experiences in several areas over time (difficult to have multiple intimate relationships)
1. sharing emotions and beliefs
2. listening and speaking
3. communicating openly with one's partner
how can we communication in developing intimacy?
couple closeness
degree to which a couple has an emotional connection
1. helping each other
2. expressing feelings of emotional closeness
3. spending time together
4. giving top priority to the relationship
how can we increase couple closeness in developing intimacy?
couple flexibility
capacity to change and adapt as situations arise
1. sharing leadership roles
2. changing rules about who does what as situations change
how can we increase couple flexibility in developing intimacy?
1. understanding and appreciating differences
how can we increase personality compatibility in developing intimacy?
1. talking openly with each other
2. understanding each other's opinions and feelings
how can we increase conflict resolution in developing intimacy?
destructive intimacy games
concealing the real motive and manipulating te partner into doing or giving what one wants (creates distance and dissatisfaction)
zero-sum game
results in one person winning what the other person loses (score of the game reamains zero)
"I dont care, you decide"
-the ties that bind
-the blame game
what are common destructive intimacy games?
1. naming the game
2. making implicit rules explicit
3. identifying strategies and counterstrategies
4. discussing the disguised objectives
how can we limit destructive games?
1. failure ot marry was undesirable
2. unmarried people stayed dependent on the families with whom they lived until they married
3. attitudes improved over the 19th and early 20th centuries
what is the historical perspective of being single?
"The idea of getting married and living 'happily ever after' is ingrained in our soceity and is a MYTH"
what does Bell DePaulo say about being single today?
1. appraise one's strengths
2. develop a frienship network
3. tell people how you feel
4. do not expect too much from relationships
5. be independent
6. rejoin one's family
7. find something that is interesting
how can we cope with loneliness?
homogamy
the tendency for dates, mates, and spouses to pair with someone of similar background, interests, needs, etc.
heterogamy
dating or printin of individuals with differences in traits
endogamy
partnering with someone from within one's soical group (e.g., religion, ethnicity, age)
exogamy
partnering with someone from outside of one's social group
sex ratio
relationship between the # of men and # of women of a given age
age and finding a mate
man tends to be as old as, or older, than the woman in heterosexual couples
mating gradient
women's tendency to marry men who are better educated or more successful than they are
-after the 1970s, cou[ples began to be more comfortable congregating in groups and getting into couple relationships at these gatherings
-hooking up: common term w vague definition, which does not reveal specific details of relationship
-traditional dating only occurred after a couple was in an exclusive relationship
What are Bogle's contemporary trends in dating?
-No difference in quality between face-to-face relationships that had started online and those that did not
-People who meet someone on the internet still rely on friends and family to help determine whether their partner is a good match
-Gay and lesbian couples are even more likely to search for a partner on the internet
What are characteristics of meeting on the internet, according ot Rosenfeld and Thomas?
-is physically violent
-blames everyone else
-steals from you
-it's all about them
-easily enraged
-does not respect your decisions
-tries to isolate you
what are some warning signs in dating relationships?
cohabitation
two unrelated adults of in a romantic relationship sharing the same living quarters before marriage
-religion (more religious couples are less likely to cohabitat)
-divorce (divorced individuals are more likely to enter into a cohabitating relationship)
-marital discord or growing up without a father (increases the chances of cohabitating)
what are factors that affect the rate of cohabitation?
-enables spending more time together
-economic advantage
-engagement
-allows learning the habits and character of each other
what are reasons for cohabitation?
-role of a parent takes priority over other roles
-a new parent develops a relationship with the child
-quality of the couple relationship changes
-relationship with family of origin changes
-parents have new stressor and new sources of emotional support
what are characteristics of transition ot parenthood?
-communicate about issues that are creating stress for each parent
-take time to keep the couple relationship strong
-develop a division of labor that is realistic and can work for both parents
what are suggestions for couples that are transitioning into parenthood?
1. psychodynamic
2. organismic
3. behaviorists
4. bidirectional effects
What are the 4 theories of childrearing?
psychodynamic theory (Sigmund Freud)
emphasizes the importance of providing a positive emotional environment for the child
organismic theory (Jean Piaget)
encourafes parents to select toys and activities that are developmentally appropriate for children
behaviorists theory
operate from learning theories, encourage reinforcement
reinforcement
accentuating the positive
bidirectional effects theory
both the effects of the child on the parent and those of the parent on the child are required to understand parent-child dynamics
Parental support
amount of caring, closeness, and affection that a parent exhibits or gives to a child
parent control
amount of flexibility that a parent uses in enforcing rules and disciplining a child (more control = less flexibility)
authoritarian parenting
establish rigid rules and expectations and strictly enforcing them
permissive parenting
letting the child's preferences take priority over ideals
democratic parenting
establishing clear rules and expectations and discussing them with the child parenting
uninvolved parenting
letting the child's preferences prevail as long as those preferences do no interefere with the parents' activities
rejecting parenting
not paying attention to the child's needs; having low expectations regarding how the child should behave
Democratic style of child's behavior
self-reliant, cheerful, achievement oriented
authoritarian style of child's behavior
conflicted, irritable, unhappy, unstable
permissive style of child's behavior
impulsive, rebellious, underachieving
rejecting style of child's behavior
immature, psychologically challenged
uninvolved style of child's behavior
solitary, withdrawn, underachieving
-women having children while not being married to the father
-divorce
Why is the rate of single mothers growing?
-increased stress
-low economic and emotional resources
what do single mothers experience?
-less research done on single fathers than mothers
-increasing # of single fathers (from 13% to 20%)
-experience lower income, education, and access to resources
what are characteristics of single fathers?
-infertility
-medical conditions
-being same-sex couple
-step-children
-wanting to give a loving home to a child
-etc.
what are some reasons for adoption?
-understanding that adoption is a lifetime commitment
-understanding the issues of adoption that can affect their child
-having fam environment that talks about adoption
-stability, quality, flexibility in interpersonal relationships
-exploring expectations for adoption in an open manner
what are some factors that contribute to the success of aprents adopting a child?
-child from prior relationship
-donor insemination
-sperm/egg donation
-adoption
-in vitro fertilization
-surrogacy
what are some methods of childbearing for gay and lesbian couples?
gay and lesbian parenting
causes no difference in the child's adjustment, achievement, and overall well-being
-show more gender-role flexibility in parenting
-parents and children have to deal with social acceptance from society
what are characteristics of lgbtq parents transition to parenting?
-what long-term effects does voluntary childlessness have?
-is there something wrong with people who dont wish to have children?
-do people without children do better in their careers?
-is the quality of a child-free marriage as good as that of a marriage iwth children?
what are common questions of adults who choose not to become a parent?
accelerated-consensus trajectory (childless couples)
-have political/personal reasons for remaining childless
-partners share similar views
mutual-negotiation trajectory (childless couples)
-constant communication between partners about the pros and cons of having a child
unilateral-persuasion trajectory (childless couples)
-one partner influences the decision of the other partner about reproduction
bilateral-persuasion trajectory
-both partners disagree completely in their family planning perspectives
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