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Terms in this set (29)
A process in which two or more parties exchange goods or services and attempt to agree on the exchange rate for them.
The Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement; the lowest acceptable value (outcome) to an individual for a negotiated agreement.
3 types of conflict
task, relationship, process
Conflicts over content and goals of the work
Conflict based on interpersonal relationships
Conflict over how work gets done
3 steps to approaching negotiaton
focus, grounding, reframing
the way a conflict is described or a proposal is worded
changing the way a thought is presented, maintaining its fundamental meaning but is more likely to support resolution efforts...
THE DIFFICULT CONVERSATION IS ACTUALLY TWO INTERRELATED CONFLICTS
inner conflict and external conflict
what is the inner conflict
THE INITIATOR EXPERIENCES BEFORE ACTUALLY HAVING THE CONVERSATION; WE MAY KNOW WE SHOULD DO IT BUT FEEL INHIBITED IN VARIOUS WAYS
what is the external conflict
may take place during the actual convo
TRIP acronym from Chapter 3? "People in conflict pursue four types of conflict"
Topic (or content) = What Happened?
Relational = Feelings?
Identity (or facework) = Identity
Process (included in Feelings?)
EACH DIFFICULT CONVERSATION IS ACTUALLY THREE CONVERSATIONS
1. The What Happened Conversation?
2. The Feelings Conversation
3. The Identity Conversation
what three components make up the what happened conversation
the truth assumption (There is one truth (often I am right and you are wrong), intention invention (We assume we know others' intentions) , and the blame frame (we assume someone must be blamed)
what happens in the identity conversation
§ Ask what is at stake for you: Am I competent? Am I a good person? § Ask what is at stake for the other person.
our persistence leads to arguments because
they think we are the problem & vice versa
• COLLISION IS A RESULT OF
OUR STORIES SIMPLY BEING DIFFERENT!
HELPING EXPLAIN WHY EACH PERSON (THE OBSERVER) ATTRIBUTES THE PROBLEM TO NEGATIVE DISPOSITIONAL CHARACTERISTICS OF THE OTHER PEROSN
fundamental attribution error
a description of the way in which people explain the causes of their own and other people's behavior.
the greater tendency to commit the fundamental attribution error when explaining other people's behaviors, i.e. see other people's behavior as dispositionally caused, while focusing more on the role of situational factors when explaining one's own behavior.
• Three Reasons for The Actor/Observer Difference
Informational Bias, Figure/Ground Perception, Motivational for Negative Outcomes
Self-Serving Attributions -- maintain one's self esteem and sense of "just world" for possible uncontrollable negative events
motivational for negative outcomes
Second reason for the actor/observe difference is perceptual salience: the actor focuses more on the situations (since they are looking "outward" to the situation around them) while the observer focuses more on the actors (who is the salient feature of his perceptual field as he is looking at him).
The actor/observer difference also occurs because actors have more information about themselves across different situations and often see the other person in only one or a limited number of situations.
how to avoid blame's web
focus on contribution
two key mistakes:
Our Assumptions About Intentions Are Often Wrong and Good Intentions Don't Sanitize Bad Impact
How to Disentangle Impact & Intent
i. Share the Impact on You; Inquire About Their Intentions
ii. Don't Pretend You Don't Have a Hypothesis
iii. Some Defensiveness Is Inevitable
Avoiding the Second Mistake
i. Listen Past the Accusation for the Feelings
ii. Be Open to Reflecting on the Complexity of Your Intentions
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