Cabaret 19

I should drink it with milk - two percent at that -Fear that we might sicken - fear as then that I'll succumbFor the sake of my cholesterol.Before a cure has come. <Hold>. They call it "unrest -"I've stopped eating cheese -Some do.Except a little parmesan on pasta -My nice Jewish dentist -Or when I make pesto.She said they should declare martial law -And once in a while I cook with butter -From her office on Fifty-Seventh Street - And in her half-empty house in Rockland.Not often. When I make bluefish -Her husband died two years ago after a protracted illness -I dot it with a little butter -And she resents the imposition of death.It brings out the sweetness of the fish.She resents that one of her sons - the younger one (the married one) -I have to make it for you sometime.Is moving to Australia with his wife and child -I roast it with lemon zest, fresh thyme leaves (no stems) And sliced almonds - not slivered, sliced.(His Australian wife - who she never liked) -It's always wild-caught - and ocean-wise - You know, not overfished.A long flight away from his motherAnd it's really high in omega-3's.Who's afraid to step on airplane.I tried non-dairy yogurt.She came to the realization that he only held off the move Until his father had died.I finally found one I liked made from coconut - But it has seventy-five percent of your daily Allowance of trans-fat.And paramilitary agents Fire rubber bullets and hurl teargas - As the marchers pass.So I went back to two percent Greek.Lost life - again it brings back the 80's -I should eat zero percent -1969 - my mother's funeral. Her lupus.I don't know.An image seared in my brain -Next time I go to the doctor I'll see What my cholesterol is like.My father had arranged an open-casket service.The other day I made my tomato sauce.And my mother lay inside in her best dress Beneath a scrim stretched over the open lid -But I couldn't get the fresh mozzarella.("Come look at Mommy.")So I used burrata - which I'd never done before.A light aimed at her - as though she were a piece of scenery.It's amazing - soft inside like crème fraiche.And her hair brushed not as she brushed it -It was amazing - but I won't be doing that often -Not as it was set each week at the beauty parlor -My cholesterol would go through the roof.Brushed back in an unrecognizable hairdo - Not the mother we knew.What else?Now I have therapy on the phone - individual therapy -Sit down Pookie. She's so bad some time - she just wants attention. Now that I'm home so much - Between her and the cats - A significant portion of my day is spent vacuuming.And group therapy on Zoom -I've discovered a kale sauce - not a kale pesto (Which I also make - in the winter - with butternut squash on top) - I'll have to make it for you sometime.My therapist -Oh, I got us some biscotti - From Rocco's. Some pistachio and some almond. A little treat in these hard times.My therapist has given up his office -Luckily we can keep six feet apart in this place.And I don't know if he'll resume In-office visits again -You can thank the revival of Fiddler.Even after the pandemic.That's when I bought the place - When I was in the show. Did I ever tell you that? That's when I -We think there's such a thing as normality -Pookie, stop it - stay away from those biscotti. She's impossible sometimes - isn't she a doll, though?But who could stand an ongoing memento-mori?So much death - it's killing me - the news - I can only watch so much. And the marches - god love those people. I should march. But I made a donation to Black Lives Matter. When they first started - a few years ago - I thought it should be All Lives Matter. But then I realized how white of me. In a way I wish there could be a way of saying All Lives Matter - But I suppose that misses the point. My church is now making... an investigation - You could call it - of its involvement with slavery. Reparations. They want to switch a lot of their outside contracting To non-white companies - Because you know the Episcopal Church had its hand - In a big way - in slavery here in New York. It's true. Trinity Wall Street - oh, yes. And our parish as well - Because we were once part of the Trinity's parish So.We have to live in some denial - Or at the very least once in a while.Have you noticed there are fewer pigeons around? Not as many French Fries on the street, I guess. Maybe it's effecting the population. And the air is cleaner, they say. Here's our coffee.The Martyrdom of Saint Matthew's by Caravaggio -