Terms in this set (45)

1. children will turn out well if they have "good" parents
- parents are an important factor in a child's development, but they are only one influence among many, including siblings, schools, the mass media, and the child's peer group
- the goal of parenting must be to instill values and model positive behaviors that children will internalize and use in their lives
2. children are sweet and cute
- although children can be adorable, they can also be selfish and destructive, as well as extremely active. In fact, children possess the full range of human qualities, both positive and negative, that adults must deal with each other
3. Good parents can manage any child, no matter what the child's nature.
- this myth is based on the notion that a human being is born a tabula rasa, a blank slate upon which the environment writes its script, research on infants indicates that to some degree temperament is present at birth
- although the family environment that parents construct for their young is tremendously important, it is not the only influence or the sole determinant of a child's developmental outcome. It is important to note that children also strongly shape their parents' behavior
4. today's parents are not as good as yesterday's parents
- standards for raising children have gotten higher, making the challenge for today's parents even greater. Society now expects parents to be more democratic in their approach, to take the child's feelings into account when decisions are made, and to involve older children in the decision-making process
5. one child is too few
- are both advantages and disadvantages to having one child. One child is less expensive and less demanding, however, parents can sometimes focus too much attention on or overprotect the child, thus limiting the child exposure to peer companions and possibly even causing the child to feel lonely
6. All parents are adults.
- this is reflected in our nations teenage pregnancy rates, many adolescents unfortunately become parents (10.5% are under 20)
7. Parenthood receives top priority in our society.
- making money receives top priority
8. Love is enough to guarantee good parental performance.
- Love certainly helps parents put up with the many difficulties of childrearing, but success of parenting also requires hard work and good parenting skills
9. Single-parent families are problematic.
- single-parenting can be difficult especially with money issues and stress; however, there are countless strong single-parent families in which children are growing up happy and healthy
10. Parenting gets easier as children get older.
- as children get older, parenting issues change and become more difficult. Adolescence is the most challenging stage for many parents, because adolescents are seeking greater autonomy and freedom from parental control
11. Parenting ends when the children leave home.
- adult children often return home to live after a divorce, a job loss, or some other life crisis. Furthermore parents are often called on to help with the care of their children's children; grandparenting brings joy, but it can also be exhausting
12. The empty nest syndrome leaves many parents lonely and depressed
- while this is sometimes true, many parents enjoy the freedom that comes with not having adolescents at home. The middle-aged parent may get a job or change jobs, travel, or take up a new avocation. After they leave home, adult children are often surprised to watch their parents blossom and enjoy life in a variety of new ways.
- higher levels of parental support are related to positive outcomes and children
1. Democratic Style
- parents establish clear rules and expectations and discuss them with the child
- they acknowledge the child's perspective, but they use both reason and power to enforce their standards
- connected to cohesive and structured to flexible
- balanced family systems tend to have children who are emotionally healthier and happier and are more successful in school and life
- children are energetic-friendly behavior, self-reliant, and cheerful; cope well with stress and are achievement oriented
2. Authoritarian Style
- parents establish rigid rules and expectations and strictly enforce them
- parents expect and demand obedience from a child
- structured to rigid and cohesive to enmeshed
- extreme: rigidly enmeshed
- difficult for adolescents
- children are often conflicted and irritable i behavior: moody, unhappy, vulnerable to stress, and unfriendly; lower self-esteem, more behavior problems, less academic achievement
3. Permissive Style
- parents let their child's preferences take priority over the ideals and rarely force their child to conform to their standards
- flexible to chaotic and cohesive to enmeshed
- extreme: chaotically enmeshed (constant change and forced togetherness - not healthy for children)
- children general exhibit impulsive-aggressive behavior; are often rebellious, domineering, and underachieving
4. Rejecting Style
- parents do not pay much attention to the child's needs and seldom have expectations regarding how the child should behave
- structured to rigid and connected to disengaged
- extreme: rigidly disengaged (leaves children feeling uncared for even though they are expected to behave and have many rules to follow)
- children from these homes are often immature and have psychological problems
5. Uninvolved Style
- parents often ignore the child, letting the child's preferences prevail as long as those preferences do not interfere with the parents activities
- connect to disengaged and flexible to chaotic
- extreme: chaotically disengaged (children are left on their own without emotional support and a lack of consistent rules and expectations
- often combined with rejecting styles
- children are often solitary, withdrawn, and underachieving
Straus
- found that more men (58%) then women (44%) recall being hit as adolescents
- adolescent sons are almost equally as likely to be hit by their fathers as by their mothers, where as adolescent daughters are about one third more likely to be hit by their mothers
- percentage of Americans who approve of corporal punishment declined from 94% in 1968 to 68% in 1994
- approval of corporal punishment is more common among African-Americans, men, people who are less educated, older age groups, and individuals living in the southern United States
- believes that all forms of physical punishment have long-term, harmful consequences, not only for children and parents specifically but for society as a whole. By teaching the young that big people have the right to hurt smaller people, spanking contributes in some degree to the relatively high level of violence in American society
- found that the more corporal punishment experienced by the child, The greater the tendency for the child to engage in antisocial and impulsive behavior, and this pattern may contribute to the level of violence in other crime in our society; also more likely to hit a spouse
- more corporal punishment teenagers received, the more depressive symptoms they had as adults
- also, adults whose parents hit them a lot as adolescents were more likely to have suicidal thoughts
- spanking does not work better than other modes of correction and control, including time out, explaining, and depriving a child of privileges
- spanking also slows mental development and lowers the likelihood of the child doing well in school and college
- fifteen nations now prohibit spanking
- 65 or older --> 75% have living grandchildren
- the first grandchild is usually born when grandparents are in their early or mid-40s, with 1/3 of one's life being spent as a grandparent
- 3/4ths of grandparents have contact with their grandchildren weekly
- research has shown that the resulting emotional closeness continues into adulthood if grandparents have provided support for grandchildren as they go through difficult times, especially when these life events occur before 12 years of age
- research has also found that the relationship between grandparents and grand children is related to the strength of the relationship between a parent and hist or her own parent
Thiele and Whelan
1. grandparents' attitudes and expectations - this role is ambiguous, and grandparents have little control over how it plays out. There may be an expectation that there will be frequent contact with their grandchildren and that may or may not happen
2. grandparent behavior - there is no single way for grandparents to behave. in some cultures where the elderly are viewed as authority figures, the relationship with grandchildren may be very formal. In other cultures, the expectation is that grandparents are fun loving and warm.
3. Symbolic meaning of grandparenthood - some grandparents view their role as a source of status. Others view their role as emotional self-fulfillment. Still other see the grandparent role as their opportunity to be a teacher to the next generation.
4. Grandparent satisfaction - how enjoyable or how happy grandparents are in their role varies. The vast majority are very satisfied and happy with their role, but a small minority are not. The greatest satisfaction seems to come when involvement is moderate, not detached, but not providing custodial care.
- in some cultures, grandparents pass down traditions and knowledge that could go extinct if the grandchildren aren't informed
1. At 65, you're "Over the Hill"
- attitude has a good deal to do with how "old" one is
- positive attitudes generally lead happier and more fulfilling lives in their later years
- symptoms of disease, NOT normal aging: cognitive impairment, falling, dizziness, loss of bladder control, and loss of appetite
2. Most Older Adults Are Poor
- typical oldest age household had 47 times as much net wealth as the typical household headed by someone in the youngest age group
- nearly half of all elderly Americans will encounter at least 1 year of poverty or near poverty between the ages of 60 and 90
- 58% of those between 60 and 84 will at some time fail to have enough liquid assets to make it possible for them to weather an unanticipated expense or downturn in income
3. Older Adults Are Not Interested in Sex
- sexual activity declines with age
- men are more sexually active
- women less likely to be in a marriage or other intimate relationship, or more likely to have lost their sexual partner through death, which affected their level of sexual activity
- 54% of 75 to 85 were having sex 2-3 times per month; 23% had sex once per week or more
- 50% of men 75-85 had masturbated in the last 12 months; 25% of women had masturbated
- 1/7 men reported taking medication to improve sexual functioning
- some medications decrease sex drives (men reduced by 1/2; women decreased, but not that dramatically)
4. Older Adults Are Usually Sick
- even in the advanced stages of old age an overwhelming majority have little functional disability, and the proportion is going down
- chronic conditions tend to accumulate over time and older adults commonly suffer from sensory losses, but this doesn't stop them from living a active, healthy life
5. Older Adults Become Senile
- assuming that memory loss or change in behavior in older adults is a function of age can cause one to overlook a disease that might be successfully treated
6. Most Older Adults End up in Nursing Homes
- 4/5 elderly with long-term care needs live in the community
- only 1/5 persons with such needs lives in a nursing home
- multiple reasons for nursing home: advancing age, a greater level of chronic disabilities, deteriorating mental physical capacities, living alone, or lack of family members to provide help, female gender (women tend to outlive husbands and end up alone), white race (whites are twice as likely to enter nursing homes as blacks), and time spent in a hospital or other health facility
- 3/4 nursing home residents are 75+
- 7/10 are women
7. Most Older Adults are Lonely
- researchers found that loneliness increases with age, some have found that it decreases with age, and some have found that they have no link to each other
- likely to increase as family and friend networks become smaller
- loneliness has increased, but in adults ages 40-50
8. Older Adults Are Isolate from Younger Family Members
- more than 1/2 of all people over 65 who have children live either in the same household with an adult child or in the same neighborhood as a child; contact with other family members, especially adult children is rather frequent
- in short, it appears that older people are not isolated from younger family members and that these contracts are generally happy ones
- couples in nonabusive marriages had lower levels of alcohol use and abuse, had less abuse from their parents, and saw less abuse between their parents
- couples in nonabusive marriages were more assertive, had higher levels of confidence, less often avoided issues, and less often dominated their partners
- nonabusive marriages had higher levels of couple closeness and flexibility, better communication and conflict resolution, and a more supportive family and friendship network
- nonabrasive married couples had a much stronger marriage relationship in almost all the major dimensions compared to abusive marriages
National Survey of Spouse Abuse
- nonabusive (61%); only wife abusive (8%); only husband abusive (17%); volitive (both abusive ) (13%)
- greater levels of alcohol use meant a higher level of partner abuse
- volatile couples saw more abuse between their parents, more abuse by their parents, and more abuse by others
- abused spouses had lower levels of assertiveness and self-confidence and higher levels of avoidance and partner dominance
- nonabusive marriage had significantly higher levels of couple closeness, communication, family and friends, personality strengths, couple flexibility, and effective conflict resolution
- there are five couple types based on the ENRICH inventory: vitalized, harmonious, traditional, conflicted, and devitalized (with ranges from high couple satisfaction to low satisfaction)
- levels of abuse were highly related to the five couple types: vitalized (5%), harmonious (11%), traditional (20%), conflicted (48%), and devitalized (73%)
- maltreatment down 19% since 1993
- 1/58 children experienced abuse from 2005-2006 --> 44% abused (24% sexually abused) and 61% neglected
- girls are more likely to be sexually assaulted than boys
- children under 2 years of age were less likely to be abused than older children (may be an issue of underreporting since younger children are not usually in school and may not be identified by education personnel as abuse)
- black children were more likely to be abused that white or hispanic children
- children not enrolled in school were sexually abused more often than those enrolled
- children living with parents who were employed experienced a lower rate of abuse than those who's parents were not employed
- children living in low-income households (below $15,000/year), had the highest rate of maltreatment (five times the rate of other children)
- children with both biological parents had the lowest rate of child maltreatment, and those living with a single parent who was cohabiting had the highest rate, which was eight times higher
- families with more than four children and only-child families had the highest rates of abuse
- the lowest rates were in families with two children
- rural children were more likely to be abused than urban children
- not being employed and low income --> increased stress and decreased resources --> increase in child abuse and neglect
- majority of the abused or neglected children were maltreated by a biological parent (especially biological mothers)
- sexual abuse was more often committed by males
Sibling Abuse
- the physical, emotional, or sexual abuse of one sibling by another
- physical abuse can range from mild such as pushing and shoving to very violent such as using weapons
- has both immediate effects and long-term consequences that can last into adulthood
- quite common
- 3/100 children are dangerously violent toward a brother or sister
- the number of assaults each year to children by a sibling is about 35 per 100 kids
- if one child is always the victim and the other is always the aggressor, it is an abusive situation
- signs of abuse include: one child always avoids the other sibling; a child exhibits changes in behavior, sleep patterns, eating habits, or has nightmares; a child acts out abuse in play; a child acts out in sexually inappropriate ways; the children's roles are rigid, with one always the aggressor and the other the victim; and roughness or violence between siblings is increasing over time
- can be prevented by: reducing the rivalries between the children; setting ground rules to prevent emotional abuse and sticking to these ground rules; not giving older children too much responsibility for younger children; setting aside time to regularly talk with the children, one-on-one; win-win to intervene in the children's conflicts, to prevent an escalation of abuse; learning how to mediate conflicts; modeling good conflict solving skills of the children; modeling nonviolence; teaching the children to own their own bodies; teaching them to say no to unwanted physical contact; creating a family atmosphere where everyone is comfortable talking about sexual issues and problems; keeping an eye on the children's media choices; and, in some, keeping actively involved in the children's lives and knowing what they're doing
Child-To-Parent Abuse
- has received little attention by mental health professionals
- 57% physical abuse; 22% verbal abuse; 17% the use of a weapon, usually a knife or gun; throwing items 5%
- 11% of the children under the age of 10 physically abuse their parents, and this percentage stays steady for boys over age 10. For girls it drops to 7%
- mothers are five times more likely than fathers to experience severe physical abuse from their children, in the highest rate of abuse occurs in families with a single mother
- mothers are abused more often then fathers probably because they are not physically as strong and because they are commonly viewed as acceptable targets for aggression
- mothers who have been abused by their husbands are more likely to be abused by their children
- teenagers who were once victims of parental violence often grow up to fight back
- many situations reported in which an adult child physically or emotionally abuses her or his elderly parents
- many treatment programs are available to help people find positive and satisfying ways to relate to one another across the generations
- problems that could occur include: having major responsibility for children as the custodial parent, decreased contact with children for the noncustodial parent, difficulty dealing with reduced income, decreased social support, and potentially continue conflict with the ex-spouse over child support or custody issues
- those who see their single hood as an opportunity for personal growth, rather than a tragedy, will adjust more readily and successfully to life after divorce
Hetherington & Kelly:
*- the majority of adults (70%) who divorced felt that they were doing at least as well or better than before the divorce
- 6 different styles of adjusting to the divorce
- the first three types (70%) were doing better, and they were called the enhanced, competent loaners, and good enough
+ the enhanced type (20%) felt that the divorce help them focus on their strengths and develop themselves more fully
+ the competent loaners (10%) never remarried but lead rather full and happy lives as single person's
+ the largest group was the Good enough's (40%), who felt the divorce was like a speed bump, but that they were survivors and it did not negatively impact their lives
- less than one third of the adults (30%) felt their lives were more negatively impacted by the divorce
+ the seekers (13%) felt that remarriage brought them the security and meaning that they wanted in their lives
+ the libertines (6%) coped by living life in the fast lane and not focusing on the past but enjoying the present
+ the defeateds (11%) were most negatively impacted and experience poverty, depression, drug abuse, and bitterness
- higher rate of single parenthood for blacks than whites
- 1960 9% lived with one parent; 2008 26% lived with one parent; the majority being headed by mothers
- 18% being raised by fathers
- the increase in single-parent families has resulted form divorce, cohabitation, and births outside of marriage
- children born to cohabiting couples account for the largest increase in single-parent families
- unless there is abuse or neglect on the part of the noncustodial parent, most children want to have a relationship with both parents
- generally, the quality of the parent-child relationship, the amount of contact, the amount of active involvement, and the type of parenting provided a related to more positive outcomes for children--> this involvement usually results in fewer behavioral problems, better communication skills, and better academic performance
Kelly and the Three Types of Co-parenting Relationships
1. Conflicted Co-parenting
- 1/4 of parents
- couples experience frequent conflicts and poor communication and focus more on their own needs than their children's
2. Parallel Co-parenting Relationships
- 1/2 of parents
- have low conflict with each other but have limited communication regarding parenting issues
- parent children when they are with them but have limited involvement when the children are with the other parent
3. Cooperative Co-parenting
- 1/4 of parents
- involves planning together for their children's lives and supporting each other in their parenting roles
- children from this category seem to be most resilient
FATHERS
- often have less time with the child and are typically the noncustodial parent
- father relationship has important implications for the child's development
- if they are paying child support, they are more likely to be spending time with their children
- fathers who were once married to their children's mother are also more likely to be involved in their children's lives
- hostility over a separation or divorce is also directly related to involvement with their children
- moving away, especially 75+ miles can affect time with children
- remarriage or having a new romantic relationship can also affect time together
1. Fathers rely on others for support.
- noncustodial fathers relied more on relatives and ex spouses for support
- custodial fathers relied on romantic partners for parenting support
- helped fathers buffer the daily stresses of role overload
2. Shared physical placement supports the father-child relationship long term
- fathers who have shared placement are likely to continue to maintain the initial shared physical placement 3 years later
3. Close relationships with mother are related to close relationships with the noncustodial father
- children are more likely to have a close relationship with their noncustodial father if they had a close relationship with their mother
4. Relationships with children have positive effects on the father's well being
- increased commitment to fathering led fathers having more religious participation, improved well-being, and increased work hours
- relationship between parent and child is beneficial to both parent and child
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