emotional connection. NOT the same as sex. Sex is an expression of intimacy and is sometimes connected. NOT selfish. about the other person.
collectivist cultures intimacy
individuals define their identity in terms of relationships they hold with others. looking out for the good of others, family, community
individualist cultures intimacy
individual goals are promoted over group goals, people define their identity in terms of personal attributes such as wealth, social status, education level and marital status. Looking out for YOURSELF.
CORE OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS. Characterized by feelings that promote sense of closeness, bonding w/ one another, and connection. promote well-being of another.
Three-pronged process of intimacy
1. disclosing things that are personal and private to ourselves 2. experiencing positive feelings about ourselves and the other person involved in relationship 3. having interpersonal interactions that serve to advance/reflect partners' understanding of each other
Intimacy is a _________.
PROCESS. dynamic and ever-changing. change and progression occur over time.
8 Components of intimacy
1. Conflict Resolution - manage conflict 2. Affection - express affection and show feelings 3. Cohesion - degree of value in relationship 4. Sexuality - communicate sexual needs 5. Identity - keep individual identity w/in relationship 6. Compatibility - how partners relate 7. Expressiveness - know personal thoughts/feelings 8. Autonomy - independence from family of origin
MOST powerful type of intimacy
exposing yourself not physically (sex), but emotionally. allowing self to be vulnerable.
both parties are contributing. heightens relationship satisfaction
types of intimates: intimate
capable of experiencing closeness, emotional attachment
Trust vs. Mistrust Stage
Infancy, 0-24 months. Child develops belief that his/her caregivers will provide secure and trustful environment
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
toddlerhood, 2-4 years. child develops independence and free will; feels shame if he/she doesn't use free will appropriately. saying NO.
Initiative vs. Guilt
early childhood, 4-6 years. "age of acquiring": child learns to explore environment and acquires newfound set of skills; newfound sense of initiative and accomplishment
Industry vs. Inferiority
middle childhood, 7-12 years. "age of mastery" - child masters skills acquired during early childhood
the ability to put oneself in another person's shoes, understand someone else's situations, express emotional concern for another person
identity, individuation, autonomy
process undergone during adolescence: identity - sense of "who I am" individuation - forming identity separate from family autonomy - self of independence and self-governing person w/in context of relationships
_______ attach more emotional importance to their friends than _______ do
_____ are less expressive/supportive towards friends than _______ are
_______ are less likely to turn to their friends in time of trouble than _______ are
____ more strongly emphasize mutual understanding , security, and mutual exploration of interests than do ______
more so than ______, _______ discuss family problems and activities, personal dreams, fears, personal problems, and secret
_____ emphasize activity and achievement in their group friendships; they show less interest in reciprocity/mutuality, and support/caring than do _____
____ discuss sports and hobbies more so than _____
barriers to developing intimacy
family environment, past families and past experiences
Fear of intimacy - fear of...
-failure -vulnerable -rejection -being smothered -sex -losing someone we love -taking a risk -accepting responsibility of intimate relationship -experiencing anger/hostility in relationship -abandonment -being "found out"
although meaning of intimacy varies from relationship to relationship, ______ is not necessarily a component of intimacy
____ includes factors specific to each person, such as personality traits; attitudes and beliefs, the overall status of relationship; emotional reactions to intimacy; willingness to self-disclose, and each partner's intimacy needs, goals and motives
adolescents begin process of _______, forming an identity that is separate than that of their family of origin
types of intimates: Pseudointimate
intimate on surface but lacks depth; rarely goes beyond friendship
types of intimates: Preintimate
capable of intimacy and may want it, but lack ability to commit