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Risks to avoiding conflict

Cummulative Annoyance

Cummulative Annoyance

respressed annoyance grows as we continue to ignore it -> leads to a blow up


thinking a conflict exists when it really doesn't

3 methods to avoiding conflict

1. Avoidance
2. Skirting
3. Sniping


ignore a situation or communicate ambiguously (most frequently used)


avoid conflict by joking or changing the subject


communicating negatively and then physically leaving the interaction

2 types of power distances

1. high power-distance culture - higher status people priveleged
2. low power-distance cultures - try not to differentiate between upper and lower status

5 power currencies

1. resource
2. expertise
3. social network
4. personal
5. Intimacy

Resource Currency

material things

Expertise Currency

special skills or knowledge

Social network Currency

person linked with a desired network of people

Personal Currency

desirable physical characteristics


share a unique, intimare bond with someone

Demand-Withdraw Pattern

woman pursues conflict by demanding she get her way and the man responds by withdrawing from the conflict

Symmetrical Relationship

power is balanced (ex: friend-friend)

Complementary Relationship

power is unbalanced (ex: boss-employee)


ability to influence or control others' thoughts and events
- always present
-not always negative (can be used ethically)
-granted (can't give yourself power)
-influences conflict

Kitchen-Sinking method

"throw in everything but the kitchen sink"


transactional process between two people with conflicting ideas
-shaped by perception (blame)
-rooted in perceptions of goals and resources


both constantly sending and receiving messages to one aother (conflict)


approach to managing conflict where you only pursue your own goals and exclude others


rise in emotional intensity

Dirty Secrets

honest, but kept secret in order to prevent harming the other person

Sudden-death statements

threatening to end the relationship with no actual intention of doing so

3 approaches to managing conflict

1. competition
2. accomodation
3. collaboration


most constructive approach to managing conflict: treats conflict as problem-solving challenge


one abandons their goals and accepts the desires/goals of the other

5 short-term conflict resolutions

1. separation
2. domination
3. compromise
4. integrative agreements
5. structiral improvements


short term conflict resolution
sudden withdrawl of one person (similar to avoidance)


short term conflict resolution
one person gets their way by influencing the other to engage in accomodation and abandon their goals (win-lose)


short term conflict resolution
both change to make goals compatible

integrative agreements

short term conflict resolution
preserve individual goals but develop creative solution

structural improvements

short term conflict resolution
able to control negative comments and collaboratively manage conflict

Radical Pacifism

a person believes they have a moral obligation to behave in a selfless, self-sacrificial way that quickly ends conflicts and assists others

belonging to an individualistic or collectivistic culture

strongest factor that influences one's preferred approach for dealing with conflict

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