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Why, did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?


Put it on the back burner.


It occurs to me if I ever did perfect a time machine.


Thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place.

pressure off

It really takes the pressure off.

cornered; spelunking;

The last department party, professor Finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes.


How fortunate for you that the university's chosen to hire you, despite the fact that you've done no original research in 25 years, and insted have written a series of popular books that reduce the great concepts of science to a series of anecdotes.

accommodate; duration

Each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration of an average bowl movement.


Mahalo is a nice touch.


You know there only eight consonants in the hawaiian language?

bagel; shmear

You can't find a bagel in mumbai to save your life. Shmear me.


A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.

glorified ; fart

An actual real scientist. Well, you did call hime a glorified high school science teacher who last successful experiment was lighting his own farts.

defense; preface

In my defense, I prefaced that by saying, "with all due respect."

hypothsis; separation

I finally have time to test my hypothesis about the separation of water molecules from the egg proteins and its impact vis-a-vis taste.

grease; equation

I've spent the past three and a half years staring at grease boards full of equations.


This is my frist day off in decades and I'm going to savor it.

circumstances; coincidence

This would be one of those circumstances that people unfamilliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence.

evenly; distributed;

And evenly distributed amongst brown, white, free-range, large, extra large and jumbo

sabbatical; mediocre

I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.

teoretical; canned

Theoretical physicists do not get canned but yeah.

relay; motion; sensors;

Not unless the two doors are connected by relays, or there are motion sensors involved.

act upon

Or if the frist door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door.


Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?

caliper; aligned

Let's assume that your brakes are new and the calipers are aligned.


We'll be occupying the same space as that buick in front of us.


An impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death, mutilation.


I'm in the real world of ordinary people just living their ordinary, colorless workaday lives.

dynamics; refrigerated

But anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of bacterial growth knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on the way out of the supermarket.


There's some value to taking a multivitamin but the human body can only absorb so much.

ingredient; urine

What you buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.


And we're talking about statistically significant savings.

tampon; regular

If you assume 15 tampons per cycle. Are you fairly regular?


I marked the calendar for future reference.


What happened to your scrambled egg research?


who inserted DNA from luminous jellyfish into other animals.


I also have an idea for a bulk mail-order feminine hygiene company


Every day he's got a new obsession.


This is a particularly disturbing one.

weave ; serapes

Because one of the great minds of the 21st century is raising glow-in-the-dark fish and weaving serapes.


A serape is open at the sides; a poncho is closed.

buckle up; crabby

Well, then buckle up--in the next four to eight days she's going to get very crabby.

stubborn; rapture

He's stubborn. He may stand in there till the rapture.


Excuse me for being so bold, but I now see where sheldon gets his smoldering good looks.


He once tried to fight a bobcat for some licorice.


He had no what you call "fissionable" materials


Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.

pluck; nerve

Did I pluck a nerve there?

bounty; rocker

Oh, lord, we thank you for this meal and all of your bounty and we pray that you help sheldon get back on his rocker.

meditation; obligation

Now, after a moment of silent meditation, I'm gonna end with "in Jesus' name" but you two don't feel any obligation to join in.


It's my idea of what DNA would look like in a silicon-based life-form.


But intelligently designed by a creator, right?


You can only fish for so long by before you got to throw a stick of dynamite in the water?


It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me.

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