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Liking, Loving, and Connecting
Terms in this set (34)
what are the first contributors the importance of social relationships?
- need to belong
- socializing is basic survival need; making meaningful connections
- need for affiliation
how does stress reduction relate to social relationships
- Stressful situations and external triggers in particular motivate us to affiliate with others who face a similar threat
- based on utility
- fear of the unknown
how does the need to gain information relate to social relationships?
- gives us cognitive clarity
- others are a good source of what we are about to face
how does shyness cause loneliness? What does this lead to?
- People who are painfully shy are at risk for loneliness, a feeling of isolation, and social deprivation.
- need to be around others but shy sets people up to have unrewarding interactions with others
what things contribute to liking someone? being attracted to someone?
- we like ppl whose behaviours gives us maximum reward at minimum cost - utilitarian function
- personal attributes (competence and attractiveness)
- reciprocity (liking us back)
- the paradox of choice
how does familiarity contribute to liking someone? what effects does this cause?
- Most likely to become attracted to someone we have seen and become familiar with
- Proximity Effect
- Mere Exposure Effect
What is the proximity effect?
- biggest predictor of ppl getting together (proximation)
- relationships more likely to form to those you are near to
- creates repeated exposure
- more likely to become dearest to you
What is the mere exposure effect?
repeated exposure to something improves our opinion of it even if unaware of other exposures
How does similarity influence attraction?
People tend to associate with, befriend, and date others who are similar in their demographic backgrounds, attitudes, and interests.
- provides social validation for beliefs
- ignore things that are dissimilar
how does competence affect attraction?
- Being close to competent people is rewarding.
- only when they are not too much more than us making us feel incompetent
What is the pratfall effect?
- a high degree of competence makes us more attractive, but some evidence of fallibility increases our attractiveness still further (minor imperfections)
- more likely to like someone with minor imperfections that the perfect appearing person
how does physical attractiveness affect likability?
- people respond more favourably to people who are physically attractive
- matters equally to both sexes
- matching hypothesis
what is the matching hypothesis?
- people are more likely to form successful relationships with and express liking for people whose level of physical attractiveness roughly equals their own
- based on our perceived attractiveness
what does objective beauty show a reliable association of attractiveness with? what features?
- smooth skin, pleasant expression, youthfulness, direct gaze,
- averages features - not far from cultures average
- healthy looking?
what are some reasons for bias towards beauty?
- rewarding to be in the company of others who are attractive.
- people associate beauty with other positive qualities, a belief known as the what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype or Halo Effect
how does reciprocity contribute to attraction?
- Insecure people will accept almost anyone who expresses interest; may even seek out less attractive person to avoid rejection
- secure people more selective
- we are biased tho
how does the paradox of choice affect attraction?
mind-set produced by an abundance of choice leads people to be less happy with the choices they finally make, even if by objective standards their choices match what they say they want and need from a relationship or career.
- ex. tinder
- too much social comparison
what are the effects of praise and favours on social relationships?
- Perceptions of the reason for praise influence how we will respond to the person praising us.
- we like praise and those who praise us or do rewards for us
What is the gain-loss theory of attraction? What are the relevant conditions?
- increases in positive, rewarding behaviour from another person have more impact on us than does constantly rewarding behaviour from that person
- dislike those who decrease esteem for us overtime
- you like people most in gain situation (From bad to good esteem)
What is the difference between communal and exchange relationships?
- exchange relationships: relationships in which the people involved are concerned about reciprocity and making sure that some sort of equity is achieved
- communal relationships: relationships in which neither of the partners is keeping score. Rather, a person will be inclined to give in response to the other's need and will readily receive the same kind of care. More intimate the relationship the more communal
what is the difference between liking and loving
you may like a platonic friend but love a spouse - can be intertwined
Review Sternberg's Triangular Theory of love
what is passionate love?
Sparked by physiological arousal
Characterized by intense, strong emotions, exhilaration, unquenchable sexual desire, and intense preoccupation with the beloved And attribution that arousal was caused by the loved person.
what is excitation transfer?
The process whereby arousal caused by one stimulus is added to arousal from a second stimulus and the combined arousal is attributed to the second stimulus
ex. going to a scary movie on a date
What is companionate love?
Less intense but deeper, more enduring, stable.
Rests on mutual trust, caring, friendship, commitment, dependability, and warmth
The willingness to share intimate facts and feelings (Self-disclosure) Usually deepens over time
;;both intimacy and commitment
what is the social penetration theory?
the process of developing deeper intimacy with another person through mutual self-disclosure and other forms of vulnerability
what is the porcupine's dilemma and how does it relate to relationships?
- Porcupines need body heat so they get closer and closer to each other but they prick each other the closer
- The desire to achieve deep intimacy while remaining invulnerable to hurt ex. can lead to rejection
what are some forms of maladaptive communication Gottman identified?
- Hostile criticism
what is hostile criticism?
- being directly critical
- not constructive
- leads to blaming each other
what is defensiveness?
Responding to criticism with a counter-complaint instead of addressing the concern
what is contempt?
- the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn
- leads to mocking partner or derogating them
what is stonewalling?
Withdrawing and refusing to listen or even stay in the same room
what are some adaptive forms of communication?
- Forms of communication that enhance relationships
- Straight talk
- Immediate Feedback
- express in feelings not judgements
what is straight talk and what some of its attributions?
- A person's clear statement of his or her feelings and concerns without accusing, blaming, judging, or ridiculing the other person
- Dispositional attributions: attributing the cause of that person's behaviour to a flaw in their personalities
Situational attributions: attributing the cause of that person's behaviour to a situation that is affecting them
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